To : x

Posted On:

Wednesday: 08:31pm AU. 02.02.2011.

Mood: tired, peaceful, still.

Status: he came on, I’ve been off...but I’ve been there.

Your name is 9 letters worth of breath I’m trying to restore back.

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to words, to people who can’t keep up:

hmm, effort? It may seem so but does it count if one just lay back and speak their mind intuitively?

 It was never hard being myself, its harder being others “healthier expectation”. So here goes...

my day after days changes, so I’ll never know... I wish they would give me a routine rather

than a“fly out of nowhere” kind. Scary sometimes, but I’ve learn to always wear a helmet

to have em knock me down “safely” for the least , not that I can afford to be knocked down,

but shit happens ay.

Hmm, that day, or just the last post before this, was a lil shaky, Ekkkk- so yeah, everything

felt like the sky.No limits. So my bad, but it’s hard to control lil explosives like these, earplugs?

Gas mask? :) You’d be saferand sound-ER that way... if you like :)

Hehe, I’ll never shut up because my inner parts rip itself trying to scream out a chase for

truth and reality,words can give me answers, or otherwise, even if it only portrays a teeny

simple feeling or thought, a sign is enough. I’m easily content cause I can just pretend that

I’m that only one kind who would “keep on keeping me”... for myself or others' sake, it’s

a gay inner light, so gay I could picture you in a care bear suitthrowing roses around the

park skipping with a wedgie up ur bottoms like Stewie’s from Family guy=)

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To people who stays on the safe side:

Sometimes  I just wonder why you wouldn’t do what you want. Ever tried placing your

“have to” mode on the longest stall? Ever listened to yourself before giving others as

chance? Ever tempted to roll your eyes and toss the fuck outta them instead?

 Hmm, I miss surprises, don’t you?

If we could sneeze for a second, that would be equal as dead for that sec, I find it

amusing how the impulse stops our system for a jiff, imagine extending the duration,

hmmm… something crazy to think about,  you should do it more often, think about

crazy things, not about chu or what’s been done. But what chu haven’t and yet almost

possible. Would you be crazy enough to save you the right way? Hmm, drugs are

common these days, and there are sooo common you’d get hot secretary who serves

you or jab sum green stuff up Ur bum and talk in that sexy tone about how you should

come back for more “doses”, so drugs... meh, :) sleep it off Its ALWAYS better in the

morning. You got my attention ...  

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to facts, to behaviors and me:

Hmm Mirrors, blurry mirrors? I love mirrors, and I love it even more when horror movies

use em all the time to project a weird form/shadow/monster, cut ppl and trip shit out in the dark.

I miss being scared, like how I use to use my blanky a certain way to tuck my feet so the ghost

won’t “be able” to pull me under the bed. But now, chases nightmares or can’t sleep. Heh.

Are you the boogieman who lies under my bed in a deardaniel suit? Coz without moving it,

I see it in different areas every day. Might be Ryan, better be, or I’ll kill myself-.-“boogie kitty?

Zzz I see 10 hellokittys before me now.

@_@. Yes, tired.

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To questions and personal space & to everyone:

if you ever wondered how I think of Chu? I always wonder how I should think of Chu,

and what not to think about too.It’s always best never to stereotype, or invade one’s space.

Details of everyday action tend to be misunderstood as a personal’s character rather than

duty. The cover is only presentation, the content differs,and I know that’s with most people.

Never really thought about how you interact, but maybe it’d be too much or too little from

what we expect, so no assumptions, I wish everyone ‘d just accept or have to drive to seek

ones content and not through image or action. Did we forget that business men can still

roll in tee’s, strippers can still wear shorts, women can still wear pants, is that what everyone

forgot? Because so DAMED stereotypes?

If I could wish more of you, I’d wish that you were louder, woman-err, truer, crazier, freer,

at eased-err, and finally- I’d wish that you could have everything you need to reach that

inner you, out, phresh and pure...  Because sometimes,Good, better or best doesn’t mean

anything anymore if you’re the best of who you don’t believe in.

Yeah, you’ve disappointed me, you’ve everything me... almost. It’s a big list but, I’ve

seen past it all , I’ve just got to be doing me, so others could be themselves too. I sees

progress in you, dime. Fattest thumb on a 90’ degree angle, don’t stop.

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to pessimism and doubters:

if you ever thought about this ever in your life, thing otherwise:

“If I were to die tomorrow.... I’ll die unprepared. I’ll die regretful, unhappy, insufficient,

miserable, and cold.”

Well life, with or without it, did you know that you’d still remain that better person. Happy,

good life with no regrets, in things you never pay attention to, they’re getting better, but you’re

looking the other way- the side with shit weather and rawrING a bigger thunder at it. . . It’s

pretty on the other side, go join them Kay? =) don’t fret. Perhaps you need to differentiate

between your truth and reality; Ur truth is pretty inside, Ur reality slaps u every time and

made you a TAKER. Just please remember that nothing can be too ugly, not if you attempt

to look at an alternative perspective instead of Complaining why shit made your nose(smelt), mouth(ate?) grow herpes, think about how SHIT made roses pretty, hehe :D Yeaaaa, all in

your head, all in your head, all in your head. State of mind kitty.

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For spirit, for possibility:

you’re like me, trying to find an easy way out, don’t deny it neither-.-  “Life is hard, death is easy, pressure is pain and pleasure is pleasing”...but “if it makes you happy... it shouldn’t be that bad...” : )

“I’m a man, and I live for life because you aren’t alive if you aren’t living.”

I know you’ll be okay, spirit wise, there too much to do in one short life, you believe that

every words of truth about yourself shared are burdens to others? That’s my shit and I still

do it, but anyway- hypocrite here realizes that, its feel more of a privilege than a burden to

be opened to one’s perspective, so don’t give me my own medicine, if your shit or other’s

can be as complicated as non-existentialism then Try me Barbie =) it’ll be all gravy .

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To men who fucked too many women, to me a victim of femininity:

 G.I.R.L.S ha-ha, where ever you go, where ever you look, breath, sit, stand , walk, talk- there’ll

be a girl in all situations, not like they’re exciting but they will be there to wake you, break you,

annoy you, stuff you, eat you, rawr you, kill you and retard you so just excuse them and archery

those gladiator spears down their throats coz they won’t FUCKING SHUT UP. Nye Nye Nye

Nye shit.So that’s why I’m sorry on behalf of all women it took em so long to learn self-respect -.-“fucken cunts, die. I’ll ditch em if I wasn’t part of their kind, but then –now, chose to make

full use of it, and realized... I rather be alien? Ha. Too bad world you lost a lady because you

have shit ones in stalled...

hmm, but you need to realize that, by just looking at women won’t make you get to know

em better, so when you do- just remember to take “the way they present themselves” as

a bonus, on top of their character. Because not everyone knows “presentation”, and most

has mistaken that with image & pride.Some women are deep. Some don’t choose to go that

deep, others remain young at heart, but like men there’s all class and in fact some kinds just

won’t change. But it’s your part to accept THEIR ignorance as bliss :)

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To people who know themselves too well, but…:

I know myself only spiritually, the emotional, physical and mental are shaped by one

another, and not within my control so yes I know myself well indirectly, based on what’s

been till the very, now. It’s just as simple as listening to your needs and adapting to it, or

instinct. Something not visible, like Trust.

“More like being self-sufficient rather than letting my ego take the lead” wise, it’s like trying

to get the latest shit to look phresh when all one had to do was BE phresh. Yes, no one

needed ego; instead it would’ve only been an expectation or bound to many.

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for the brighter side, so many could see:

If one day , you ever had doubts about the world:  it’ll still be okay even when the world

seem to be standing at its worst- because the world will start naturally and end naturally.

It’d still be okay even if you felt you gave up something important to you, because no one

would really ever give up on anything that means most to em. And it’ll still be okay when

reality slap, punch attempts a kill on all your attempts to keep on, because only that way, life

would help you bring out who you never knew existed. So, if you ever wanted to know…

I’m here, and I’m fine. So you’ll have to be too, or I wouldn’t.

(If you want it go get it! Involve yourself into something worthy, something you’ve never

done before, get your ass flying!) =)

So do you think one moves got to lead to a rising action then maybe climax and resolution

and outcome or... cant you just chill with out purpose but self contentment? Wonder when’s

the last time you did yourself a favor, cranky old person :) you shall need to learn gratification

or to be happy from the minors of “worthiness”. Mann you need a vacation or a few-day-chill/sleep/bong on/high rise to clear Ur system ay... so does the world.

 I’m not reaching anymore, just trying to keep my delighted self, the one who can still be

silly/merry at the same time another legit/realistic self. I’m working on me, what about you?

If life’s hard keep it simple, if shit sucks, spit it away, if your paths are blurred, take it as it

goes... just don’t feel a thing or it’ll stall for you and others... like walking past a dark cave,

walking blindly, waiting for a tunnel... just don’t stop keeping one each and every one of you

Kay? Or the ache will turn out longer? I’d say please, for the sake of everyone around youse

and for yourselves too. It won’t be okay, if one doesn’t keep well. I ‘m with you on this one,

to leave peacefully than to remain in misery, but I believe everyone’s time will come. Be

grateful for ones at a better place. You’re only human, so cut it out; it’s fine to feel that way,

because there’s sentiment. And that means truth is told from inside. She might need you, don’t

let yourself let them down.

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To broken or pressured sons who are mentally tormented by family:

Rents believe there’s more needed to be done in order to DEVELOP happiness, and not

“search” or “attain” em, their minds reverses from our where we believe to search and

chase for true happiness, so don’t blame them, for we all only work for the all kind of

happiness. The world is only one place, but it can do everything, anything, without time or

place, no one can dominate in this world, unless they work on it, so no... Of cause not, I

won’t dominate “the world”, but we all just ought to be prepared in the mind, for it.

“The ship won’t sink, if my mind is the ocean that shapes its sail”. Spirit is key.

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To the loved ones:

someday, we’ll witness me as,  I place your hands in hers some day and still feel the same....

Cause I’ll learn for chu and for myself too. It’s only fair that way… I’ll always love you.

Please remember that love, there’s all kind… where ever or how ever far someday,

my heart remains under Ur chest, and beating for your every breath.

For I know you’ve gathered enough in you to keep on oneday. Hope your spirit is like my

whines, everlasting :)

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For change, for the better or worse, take care world:

One don’t have to “change” only when they have to, they can breathe harder, think louder

and move faster, because without notice, change is every day, but disguised as the word-

improvement. So wtv you do, you’re doing good.

Michelle.