part.

_________This Is For you ________

There’s too much work and I’m spent
There’s too much pressure and I admit
I've got no time to move ahead
Have you heard one thing that I’ve said


And all these little things in life
They all create this haze
There’s too many things to get done
And I’m running out of days


All these little things in life
They all create this haze
There’s too many things to get done
And I’m running out of days


Well all these little things in life they all create this haze
And now I’m running out of time
I can’t see through this haze
My friend tell me why
It has to be this way
There’s too many things to get done, and I’m running out of days

Friends , this is for you.

________________________________________

I think i was better off before this all began

So clearly i can see lately that you don't know who i am

Everybody tried to tell me something that i never could believe

Stand back it seems so much different than it did in front of me

But i know

There's no good in lookin' back on yesterday

And wondering what could have happened then

You think you can give me what i want

I think i'm better off alone

These days, these days

Why should i put my trust in something that i never could believe

So one day you can find somethin better just to pack your need and run

Isolation is a friend for the moment cause they won't walk out on me

There's no good in lookin' back on yesterday

And wondering what could have happened then

You think you can give me what i want

You say, you say; I think i'm better off alone

These days, these days

I'm tired and i'm sick of waiting; Maybe i'll die alone

'cause i can't take another damn day

Of waiting so, tell me why I gotta stay.

You think you can give me what i want

You say, you say I think i'm better off alone

These days, these days

World, this is for you.
_________________________________________

You must be happy with yourself

You think you're so much better than me

Why do you love to see me fail so much

'cause on that day you crawl back on your knees

Tell me who will save you

When there's no one else around

And you can't turn to me

Tell me where will you be,When it's over

And all this pride you hold inside,Is gone

Tell me where will you hide,When it's over

And everything you know is said and done

When it's over, where will you run

Do your memories haunt your dreams

Do they simply seem to have a mind of their own

Tell me what the emptiness brings

When everything you know is everything but gone

Tell me who will save you

When there's no one else around

And you can't turn to me

Tell me where will you be,When it's over

And all this pride you hold inside,Is gone

Tell me where will you hide,When it's over

And everything you know is said and done

When it's over, where will you run

You can't hold your world together now

Everyone sees who you really are

When your castle crumbles at your feet

Don't you run to me

When it's over

And all this pride you hold inside is dying

Where will you hide?When it's over

And all this pride you hold inside has died

Tell me where will you hide,When it's over

And everything you know is said and done

When it's over, where will you run?

Family, this is for you.

____________________________________

I think i've walked too close to love
And now i'm falling in
Theres so many things this weary soul can't take
Maybe you just caught me by surprise
The first time that i looked into your eyes


There's a life inside of me
That i can feel again
It's the only thing that takes me
Where i've never been
I don't care if i lost everything that i have known
It don't matter where i lay my head tonight
Your arms feel like home
Feel like home


This life aint the fairy tale we both thought it would be
But i can see your smiling face as it's staring back at me
I know we both see these changes now
I know we both understand somehow


There's a life inside of me
That i can feel again
It's the only thing that takes me
Where i've never been
I don't care if i lost everything that i have known
It don't matter where i lay my head tonight
Your arms feel like home
They feel like home
I may be part, I may be torn.
but when I’m gone, just carry on.

for the ones i've loved, this is for you
____________________________________

Living risky, never scared, wander
Closer to the edge
Nothing valued think no fear, always
Wondering why you’re here
All your purposes are gone, nothing’s
Right and nothing’s wrong
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
Feel no sorrow, feel no pain


Kiss me while I’m still alive
Kill me while I kiss the sky
Let me die on my own terms, let me
Live and let me learn
Now I’ll follow my own way, and I’ll
Live on to another damn day
Freedom carries sacrifice, remember when this was my life


Looking forward, not behind
Everybody’s got to cross that line
Free me now to give me a place,
Keep me caged and free the beast
Falling faster, time goes by, fear is
Not seen through these eyes
What there was will never be, now
I’m blind and cannot see


Kiss me while I’m still alive
Kill me while I kiss the sky
Let me die on my own terms, let me
Live and let me learn
Now I’ll follow my own way, and I’ll
Live on to another damn day
Freedom carries sacrifice, remember when this was my life


Kiss me while I’m still alive
Kill me while I kiss the sky
Let me die on my own terms, let me
Live and let me learn
Now I’ll follow my own way, and I’ll
Live on to another damn day
Freedom carries sacrifice, remember when this was my life

Michelle, This is for you.
_________________________________________

Reasons

20.09.10

"Pravda rozloučení jsou ti nikdy neřekla ani vysvětlit."

so ere i go.“Until this moment,
I never understood how hard it was to lose something you never had.”
There are changes needed, the things I need to do to get where I’m going.
Yes I’ll lose some people, some hope to trust, some trust to hope.
But it’s for the better. I need to change, quickly. Coz I need to go.

“Reason” to

try and be.

Who they called
themselves “Friends”

who they believed
was “Family”

“People” who
meant to me.

“Philosophy” that
I plainly see

“Road traders”
whose stopping me

The “music” that

controls me

The “words”
that no one sees

The “me” that Im

forbidden to be.

I’m going. And Detached. I’m not sorry, because they made me where I am today.
And It wont be the same anymore. I’ve injected three words in my body,
” whatever it take” and this is me, doing what ever it takes to get where
I needed to go, without any of you. Without having to be “the me” that
everyone can’t handle. Michelle Lee distant. Gone. She wont be back for
any of you no, she’ll be back for me. Everyone ruins her, its time I protect
her coz no one else would. She’s resting in peace and silence as she needed to.
Le Meredith . “Act 1, scene of unjust” emerges. Its coming for me as I’m ready for it.
The problem of unjust leads to an act of resolution. This mask is a resolution.
This is Michelle Lee speaking her last words: this is for you.



. Sincerely mine, thats me.

____________________________________________________________

TheresNoNeed.

"I plead, I keep, theres no us, no we"

Like a rose with thorns which surround its
body to whats beautiful on the outside.

The red never mattered, coz the green
created it. the green is the built of a rose...

the million of vines and thorns that made up one flower.
all the downs and worst part of the forrest, this life,
will lead to one all've been waitin for, a luscuous bloom,
bright red.purely define of a rich wholely sufficiency;
|this, I'm trying for me.& for non of you.
"the bull shit in life creates the rich and complete whole of a person"
"so Let the thorns stab, so you'd know u're one step closer to
where you had to go"-its now or never.
suffer now or give up with never.all for one.

iiWontForget.17th-19thSept.

"I dont need audience, coz either way.
.run, fly, sprint, drive.. shes goin."

With the world, they say grow up; When I’m already on top of my grounds. They say it’s not enough, when I’ve already shed myself too much. They say change when all I do is go farther from the same place, they say communicate but when every time I try they won’t let me. Family, friends, people, world I’ve never let you down, you just won’t let me in. you don’t want to see what I see, you make ur own reality of me. They say equality, but there is none here. The closest ones are the farthest; the farthest ones are closest… I won’t mention names because it’s in my head and the truth hurts, despite all their then and there always… but I jst cant stay here any longer, it’s like trying to grow when ur the salt and they’re the bag of rice jst pushing down further as they shift around, u sink till someday u melt from heat down under despite how much u try. The worst thing is, after all the things I’ve done for many, they thought they deserved it, when I fall, they say I deserve it. I can’t say f u. cause it kills… cause the warm emotions are more delicate when its juggled upon cold rocks, I’m the emotion, and they’re throwing themselves on me. They would never…. Try. And with everything else..I have no need to keep. . on..

I say why, from all the flash backs of shit that stacked on me, and from all those time people said suck on it, take it, it’s your job not mine. For all times I’ve tried. I’ve always wondered what it’s be like to go. So I would be in corners and shadows watch the world fall, take my role, coz if u could do better than that, I’ll go. Far. And leave no note. But four words: “this is for you”.

People can only try this much, cause a constant free fall shatters their welfare. I’m a shadow to the things I do, say and create; because they never understood. Does that mean I’m dim-witted, unreliable, childish and blind about the world? The minute my words are spoken, the people are blind, deaf mute. the minute I’m me, they say u don’t belong. I’m too fragile now to know the solution, I know I got it in here somewhere, I need light, just a lil bit to fight...Right now no words can attempt the express what I’m feeling, so this.. to me… is nothing but plain words itself drowned with symbolic references to my relation.

Yes, you won’t understand, from the base of this. Because u never try.. nor do anyone come to me and wonder, cause they expect me to know the answers. I fall, I drown, I meet a car crash, and they say get up and keep going. And when u cry as u fall sick, don’t call my name, cause ur nothing but a dependant other. No better that u are, try to adapt to gain attention, no better that u are, do everything there is to get everything u cant and never will be. You say grow up to the oldest philosopher that u can barely understand and cries in ur room for not having a helping hand. All there is is luck in Ur life, just so in time u realize, luck does not exist and there are always draw back to Ur shit. So keep on keeping on, and u wont deserve this pretty “all that you got” any much longer. Your smarter coz u don’t give a shit, they call this smart. They call the one who gives a shit a dim-wit. Yes, you’re amazing; your god like trash that got u falling as a victim in society the minute you set foot off from home. That’s Ur drawback. I’ll wish u good luck to the luck that never existed. In other worlds, come on home crying after, because u can’t do it. Cause u let Ur friends down without knowing. Cause u never tried and ask why they’re going, Because u think u deserve everything and when u don’t get an inch worth u stomp on the ground and scream. I wanted to go ages ago. The minute u thought u had it all. Just to grant u your wish, coz you want to have a taste of all that shit out there, without having me to say: I told you so. I knew u had nothing, not in u, not out of you, not even ur whole self, and u don’t even know what is in that reflection you see every day. You forgotten everything that matters, and went for the ones that don’t, its great cause from doing this you’re smart. I’m ready to lose everything, ready on my own. You can barely breathe staying under no light, scare something would come out from the dark. For all the times I’ve tried for you, you took it for granted. For all the times I’ve been there , u tot that was the least u deserved. I wish u knew better about me, without me telling you much. But ur mind imprints, im just me- I just give two shits, fine fair, jst don’t act like u care to the rest just to get what u want. I wish I could say, you’re the reason to where I am today in the bright way, but on the other hand, you are the reason to why I’m giving up on you today. So thank you, this is for you.

You won’t read this, coz u barely give half a second to wonder, it hurts your brain, it make u yonder. I put on a mask to protect them; you put on a mask to protect you. U never considered who you are as damage to others have you? I have, so this is why, I’m the way I am, and you aint the way u are. Yes, since the day I dint trust ur ability enough to handle a truth, everything changed, u’re still here, unchanged and blind. Yes it changed, no us. Just u and just me. Despite what people think of “we”, everything all soo pretty, no, that’s for show, coz u do put on a good show. If u think everything will be okay, just don’t. It has been long… and u just never realized much as u never felt the need to. I’m gone, like somebody u hate, somebody u never met in ur whole life, somebody who u tried to hit a car with and ran, ran far like nothing happened. Goodbye warm heart and cold will. I’m practicing daily to tell me you’re nothing there is to be. See? Even this I need to try. As u’d just change ur own life in one second cause u never truly gave a shit about any, that how easy it is for you. You’re only lucky now.so good luck for layter

To the people, coz when im gone just carry on, dont mourn,
rejoince everytime you hear the sound of my voice,
you know that i'm looking down on you smiling,
and  i'didnt feel a thing so, youse dont feel my pain,
jst smile back.Coz when i'm gone, it'd be for youse.

now or never.Sincery yours, that you've ruined.
__________________________________________________________