"Dont forget that I "mask", so i'll take this one off now"- lvlL

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Day 20th/21st.
Michelle Le Meredith
November 17 at 7:20pm

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~ I hate how...you drown yourself in tears when all you ever needed was a tissue...

~ i hate that...my moments with you can not be remembered cause all u remember was the mirror...

~ i hate when...i have to remind you of the special moments we had when you should be reminding me as well... 

~ i hate it...how you sometimes forget why i'm here why i care for you how i fell for you bie... Most of all..~
~i hate that i feel like i didn't do enough for me to still linger in your memory boo, i'm sorry if i wasn't enough to fill that space im sorry all you could remember was the mirror and not the last kiss, last breathe, last hug, last smile, last moment,last talk, last time. [ 301290 ]

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He learnt how to hate. This is want I’ve been waiting for. Cause “You gotta hate. Before you realize the love you feel for somebody". Yeap, that’s what I've been waiting for and Your ability to confront them. We’re almost there.

I did my part. Everything you “hate”, was words in action to have you felt that way, the way you think it seemed. Am I right? Do you hate a single moment I am with you? If yes, I aint meant for you, if no, that’s the “me” I can’t use any form of words to brainwash you, too real.

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-I drown in tears, long enough so I wouldn’t do it again, & you weren’t suppose to know that, cause it’s just the “low” to strive for my personal best, nothing personal to others.

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-I never remember what “all I remember” is, because I’ve always remembered too much it makes me fall too easy, for your type- cause “beauty” lingers in my mind, and takes it over most of the time. So I test myself to want, and wished it’d keep coming, keep me wanting without the use of any pretty memories, if I stayed, this is what I’m staying for, perfect present, no past nor future.

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-I got you fed up on doing what I believed every single human being would get tired of doing- reminding all the whys, feeling undervalued and being unconsidered, finally. Perhaps now I can be me, and I’d be able to trust you to tell me otherwise rather than those perfect words you’ve always spoken of. I knew it can’t always be like that- perfect moments or while with chu. You gotta hate something about me someday, and till then would you be too afraid to tell me? Fear of losing me? I believe you can do it better now, knowing what “you thought” you hated, had you met your demons. So, I did my part. And now don’t remind me, cause I’ve always remembered everything – every minute, every detail, every move, every reason, every breath, every gaze you’ve had on me...

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- I only let you know what I want you to know, and this led to my primary motive I’ve now achieved. “When i say "lows before highs”, I’m only testing you and I. When I say don’t trust a single word, i meant it more than anything else since the moment I was fucking up ur mind”. I hope u remember that convo we had, “Don’t trust it till you feel it”. You breached it, perhaps in this case- don’t trust the hate till you feel it, when your feel it when you’re with me, when you can confront me, when you can doubt me by it THEN it’s for real. Can you? Or were they raised only through my words? I’ll say it again, “don’t trust it till you feel it”, so did you think you’ve seen all of me?Coz I’m not that crazy. I’m only testing us. "How could you believe if this was a “real thing” until you trial it? You can’t, you just had to see it for yourself right? So this is it for me."

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And finally, I’m sorry you think you dint do enough to have you linger in my damn mind, cause you’re all I fucking think about at night, like fuck off, but who am I kidding, you made me happy- Like i aint ashamed to talk to them pretty faces while i was laying beside you in bed- pictures of you, pictures of me. Whether it was the last kiss, last breath, last hug, last smile, last moment, last talk, last time… I knew not to tell, show or give you all till I could really knew you had me; had me in the mind over body. We cant do things the cliché way, we just can’t trust it. So trail it. We’re almost there,& you’re brilliant. Slowly, “in time, none would fear us as we’d fear none”- you’ll know what that means soon. “I need a man, not a boyfriend”-lvl. [310393]

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