09/10/10-4:00pm-7:00pm

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"You Hold Me Without Touch, You Keep Me With Out Chains"

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101010

Status: Message sending failed

Schedule: 10th October ’10. 11:59 PM

Subject: Re: LveThers All Type.

"The space of genre is timeless"

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I said my last words to him before. So this is for me. Perhaps if you’ve been ere, you would’ve known that I marked my words and the reality in them creates my actions. I would'nt be home on our day, but i was responsible for us, so ere it is like it is tomorrow. Perhaps the next time we talk it’d be our first, .... different.

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Re:

Like admitting that you’re wrong makes everything better, coz even he knew sorry doesn’t do it. “I’ll” straighten up as “I” always do, coz you’re “fine” the fckn way you are. Coz using feelings to approach anything makes one foolish. Like using the truth to approach a person’s hrt is too. If everyone plays men, this world left with no purpose to reach pure sincerity. Good, coz you aint ready for real women neither. So that works perfectly, and no women are ever too patient enough to do the pointers to bring the perfect man out. I’m not using the women way to show the overall disappointment I have on you this time, the shit droplets and lowered eyes etc… yes I know you’re sick of it all coz you face your kind of “women” everyday led to you devaluing mine…

You make me feel hopeless, the last thing I need. Cause I knew Milk wouldn’t need any girl having him feeling hopeless neither. A scale that works both ways, the SHIT you feel, I feel tenth time as much, nope, it doesn’t balance. I’d say “stuff it all”... But I never stuff up. And I am no other chick, to me amongst them or to you amongst all. So I wouldn’t let him take the “other girls’ treatment” in ruining his reason to reminisce. I knew I never consider ur “chicks” or who ever, what ever’s existence as a factor to misjudge. No matter how fucked up u are, the shit you do, wtv, Milk I don’t give a shit… I make of my own interpretation of a person, of you – and I realized you’re only shiny if you let it & fuck, ur excuse- pride & even being you- Full-of-yourself, let chu down. Your shit “all is flux” is the fcked up “change” you do, from running. That’s the only difference in u and I. I change for the better, so I hope u see the importance in that and now. And till now, the pride, ego and you still stand before others, so forget where I stand before you coz it”s nowhere “too close”. Because I know you won’t change as you’re already “on top” of it all. Pride only helps you stand back up- by covering the truth, but when there’s promise, do you still need the damn thing?

This glue is water soluble, so if we try hard enough to wash it off, it will do. But the hardest thing is getting this glue to sustain two person’s attachment. SUFFER ing. Dude, that fckn shit trips me out. Everything bout us trips me out. It’s not funny. “October 10th falls on a Sunday. 7th month, when you count it with your fingers, 7th falls on the fourth finger which is also the ring finger, the triple ten’s , oct-Amy“ … and 10/3-10/10 Oct, a solid month worth of Sundays.

It’s the tenth tonight; it’s a Sunday like another. Instinctively my body knows what to do, capture a moment from the past find reasons to ponder. But I’m resting tonight, just to see what Monday morning would bring me. Two cases,- reasons or excuses. I’m tired. The least thing you could do for me is treat your self fair. Milk, don’t be foolish as her, rest please. You owe me that much. My own instincts, is only starting to question why I’m here. What would you do then? Accept that “all is flux” again like you always do? Coz if so, I’ll mirror chu like everything dint matter as much like it dint to you, to that extent you’re so willing to find those three words as your excuse to leave behind the shit that was once a sacred place. Perhaps we can’t attain our future in our present state. Like we can’t open Christmas presents until Santa is treated with milk & cookies. “Chance, coz if it doesn’t show, it can't be helped”. That’s bullshit too. We control our damn fate Milk. Remember tonight, coz u ruined what I wanted was a beautiful memory we could treasure for long. But least I would still remember this, but the other way. He asked me if I hated him. She can’t wait till that’s possible, the things you made possible buried the reasons to hate, Milk. Only i know. Only i would tell you true. Only i would've love you this way. Ways that kill.

"once upon a time, we swore not to say goodbye ,something got a hold of us and we changed, then you, sat alone in pride , and I sat at home and cried , how'd our fairytale just end up this way.We went round for round til' we knocked love out , we were laying in the ring, not making a sound , and if that's a metaphor of you and I , why is it so hard to say goodbye. I can't wait to hate you , make you, pain like i do.. still can't shake you off.. I can't wait to break through ,these emotional changes.. seems like such a loss cause , I can't wait to face you, , break you, down so low ,here's no place left to go..I can't wait to hate you.. ,love is, was a love phenomenon no one could explain ,and i wish, i could, press reset and feel that feeling again , i sit and press rewind and watch us every night.. , wanna pause it, but i can't make it stay. We went round for round til' we knocked love out ,we were laying in the ring, not making a sound and if that's a metaphor of you and I why is it so hard to say goodbye"

"I can't wait to hate you , make you, pain like i do.. ,still can't shake you off.. ,I can't wait to break through these emotional changes.. seems like such a loss cause I can't wait to face you, break you, down so low there's no place left to go".. hate, milk, you know what it means.

p/s: For the times you’ve been ere, Syl thanks you. and for the times you’ve said
the right words, home got closer then. But now, I’m using ur “all is flux”
approach as an excuse to go, coz “I’m never there” neither, were you?
I’ll miss home. Alot, coz you completed it.

October: Broken: Sunday Morning: Breakeven: My immortal:
If you only knew: Things i'll never say: I'm still here: Stuck with
each other: The bird and the worm: I dare you to move: Forever:
Magic City: Take tomorrow: Till the end of time. Its just a dream.

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~For the better or worse

by:

Times like these you wish it just slip away, like nothing ever existed meaning the pain the suffering and the heart ache from the past. i just wish i skipped it all an never crossed that line in the first place. But it is the nature of humans learning from their wrongs and start doing right. No matter how many faults you been through you ought to get back up an seek an learn through them to improve always for the better.

Its been the longest days an months with you Michelle it hasn't been easy i know that, 6months with you felt like 6 years of my life worth remembering with out a doubt in my mind. Cause out of the rest you where the one worth fighting for, you where the one worth hoping for, you where the one worth feeling for, certain for, loving for an remembering for the rest of my life. lover, friend, foe you where the one, just remember that bii :'

They say loves not enough to full fill a broken dream, but she filled that hole up not with love it self but deep an meaningful words. i wanna take the time to thank her for been here not just for me but for the loved ones, Jere, Milk cause if it wasn't for people like them you wouldn't be who you are today...

"your not losing me by letting me know so lets be bigger
than this for the better or worse,  no need to ask i got you" x