Teddy i'll wait till its brighter before i write on you. GoodNyt World.

SnM Convo- 16th Feb- 6-11:20pm; M post 17th 11:30-12:30am; S post; 17th 11am-12pm

______________________________________________________________

16th Feb Wednesday 6 pm onwards - 17th Feb Thursday 12pm

After Shine: there was a heavy rain, so ere goes :

**************************************************************

M:10:22pm

biii, i 'll never know .

S: 10:22pm

i do trust ur words i really doo..

M:10:22pm

do u remember when i told u i dont trust me?

that i need to scare my self to remember whats important so i can prevent it?

S: 10:23pm

hmmm

yes i do bii

scare ur self from what bii?

M:10:24pm

trip out

so i dont make the same mistakes.

u know how i am when im fcked.

S: 10:25pm

yes><

M:10:25pm
thts jst how i am bii sometimes
i feel the need to run so ppl wont feel for me,
and wont be draged along with my constant worries.
even with chu bii =s and everyone,
thts why im always in my one man's army...

M:10:29pm
one day you'll be tired of the way i am,
and i just hope i'd be the first to know biii....

S: 10:44pm
bii

S: 10:45pm
im tired… eyes hurt
sorry for goin on with this
i just needed to let u know how i felt

M:10:45pm
good nyt syl x

S: 10:45pm
an know why u couldnt sleep last night

M:10:46pm
one day i'll hate unfinished convos with my guts
 but now u maybe excuse. night bii..x rest assured.

S: 10:47pm
wait please sleep tonight i hate it when she doesnt rest on time..
good nyt il try have a good day an u try have a pleasent day

M:10:49pm
 i hate many things too , but i cant help it neither jst rest ,
leave me be syl. im always better this way

S: 10:49pm
 one day..x

M:10:49pm
 sharing is a burden admit to tht. nights

S: 10:49pm
nope its a cure

M:10:50pm
 never. not with me. this wont finish anyway. so bii good nyt

S: 10:50pm
 it will with me

M:10:51pm
it never finishes, coz its michelle lee. night bii

S: 10:51pm
 it always finishes its sylvester naing

M:10:51pm
conflict

S: 10:52pm
 resolve?

M:10:52pm
no, leave it.

S: 10:52pm
 why? cause im tired bi?

M:10:53pm
 u'll be even more tired one day
soo tired neither of us can stay.

S: 10:53pm
 shut up bii stop saying that ><

M:10:53pm
 JST realise good night bi

 S: 10:54pm
 noo i only said that so maybe she can be her
self when i go to sleep an thinks im better off..

M:10:55pm
 i wish u'd be better offf with me.

 S: 10:56pm
 i wish u would stop putting ur self down an
making me wanna do things i dont think about
 or wanna think i rather have you give me words
 to help me then push me bii so please..

M:10:57pm
 this is the only this i'd put my self down on ,
 realistically perhapps u believe in beauty so much,
u can barely accept the opposite

 S: 10:58pm
 thats not true i can if i want to but i chose not iv
seen what it does an i dislike the feeling thats
why i choose the other bii..

M:10:59pm
 jere dissapointed me after the 3rd year.
 and it all just went to nothing from
everything to 0 contact just like tht

S: 10:59pm
 so ur waiting for me to do the same?

 M:11:00pm
 so i want u to realise time isnt a factor

S: 11:00pm
 can u least prevent it words touch cries

M:11:00pm
 so u rather prevent than cure?

 S: 11:00pm
 no

M:11:00pm
 he prevent ALOT he's always tired
he needs my comforting words after school
he wants his gf back he misses the old cuddly me
FUCK HIM if im ever a need then
fuck evryone of u if you need me to be this
or tht failing to keep up is a mistake
and i dont care what we had

S:11:03pm
 are u talkn about us bii?

M:11:03pm
 do u think so?

 S: 11:04pm
 sounds like ur talk bout us/

M:11:04pm
 thts the problem im not and it already sounds like us

S: 11:04pm
 please do quote when she talks

M:11:04pm
 arent i SHITTING my self or what No, this is how it works..

S: 11:04pm
 i dont get sometimes whos it at bii.

M:11:04pm
 if i quote, u wouldnt care but i dint and u thought it was us,

S:11:05pm
 FUCK HIM if im ever a need then fuck evryone of
u if you need me to be this or tht failing to keep up
is a mistake and i dont care what we had

M:11:05pm
 but tht was me and jere, so do u know why i m the way i am?
afraid to make the same mistake in such a short time?

S: 11:06pm
 the fuck everyone part to some people it sounds like
 to them an then after u carried on with if you need
me sounds like me.. .bii could least say i dont care
what he an i had... baby...

M:11:06pm
that WAS to you

S: 11:07pm
really...

M:11:07pm
 because thts how i had to act B4 too

S: 11:07pm
 u dont care what we had?

M:11:07pm
 i couldnt care with 3 years what do u think

S: 11:08pm
 i think ur bullshitting

M:11:08pm
 im most fucked when ppl let me down most FUCKED

M:11:09pm
 u followin jere's footsteps,

S: 11:09pm
 no bi u brought it up

M:11:09pm
 THTS FUCKS ME UP i cant ignore tht

S: 11:09pm
 then say i dont want to talk about it bii then theres no need

 M:11:10pm
 fine if u think not talking bout it solves it
soo perfect ly then go for it,
coz jere dint wanted to neither,
he couldnt keep up, he's tired,
he misses the old times AND SHIT go for it!

S: 11:10pm
noo bii wrong if i talk about it this is how she will
behave or act if i dont then she will think
otherwise what am i suppose to do bii?

M:11:12pm
1112 unlucky. does tht mean we cant talk about anything to each other already

 S: 11:12pm
 no bii u still dont get my point

M:11:13pm
 why does it feel like u dont wanna talk about it instead of me?

S: 11:13pm
 its like i cant talk to u but i want to about these
part of ur life with out been told whats wrong

M:11:14pm
 are u kidding ive always felt like that was a no go
topic for u FUCK ASSUMPTIONS to the both of us

S: 11:14pm
have u listened to ur self bii read what we have
talked about an tell me what do u notice? ><

 M:11:14pm
 im mad

S: 11:14pm
 and?

M:11:14pm
and im trying to tell u something that
kills me most so u wouldnt do the same

S: 11:15pm
 besides that be tell mee your mood

 M:11:15pm
 and realise, that one little fragile thing can make me throw it all away as i did

S:11:15pm
 ur status how do u look from my view?

M:11:16pm
shit? alarmed. which status. its just soo easy to throw shit away when i feel like tht

S: 11:17pm
 i know bii

M:11:17pm
 too bad you cant slap the fuck out of me

S: 11:17pm
thats why im doin my best

M:11:17pm
but too bad this is just ME

 S: 11:18pm
too bad im already with her

M:11:18pm
everything is reversible

S: 11:18pm
too bad we both gonna work this out together

M:11:18pm
u can go get married now too
 i'd be fine and happy for you, thts what i mean

 S: 11:18pm
 STOP BEEN SO DAMN STUBBORN BII..

M:11:18pm
 ABOUT WHAT dude,
i want u to know i never always my concious fucking self

S: 11:19pm
 i can tell ok bii

M:11:19pm
 and sumtimes this me is more realistic than tru
and ppl rather fck ol than keep on and im granting
 u a path fck it.

S: 11:19pm
please stop with the negatives..

 M:11:19pm
good nyt syl bi

S: 11:19pm :'(

M: 11:20pm
 please stop withe the unrealistic optimism

S: 11:20pm
 sorry if i tried.x.nyt bi
__________________________________________________________

16th Feb Wednesday 6 pm onwards - 17th Feb Thursday 12pm
After Shine: there was a heavy rain, so ere goes :

**************************************************************



SnM Convo- 16th Feb- 6-11:20pm; M post 17th 11:30-12:30am; S post; 17th 11am-12pm

Sylvester Naing
♥

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Michelle Lee

i heard sorries, syl dont be killing me this early.please,

i hate that your sorries dont fit anywhere you say em, i hate most when you say:"sorry
for bringing it up" when all i wanted was to feel everything anything. the last thing i need
is for you to doubt your self. but everything i hate about you i love, or i wouldnt feel everythin...
in everyway. its morning, and you have duties to pay your visit, good day syl.

Sylvester Naing

 i love you...

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Sylvester Naing

sometimes I feel like were the worst of friends
time is spent but just to her extent
and I don’t resent cus of her expense
I’m trying to explain but theres her defence
...I respect you, the things that I said I never meant to
straight, I ain’t fake and I aint gotta pretend boo
i see you in the mirror, you an exact resemblence
you just like me, I’m sorry I acted selfish
we both equal the same kind of people
me and you the picture frame gotta sequel
I wouldn’t leave you, I’m still by ya side
and at the end of the day I know you still down to ride
Bonnie and Clyde whatever you call it
I’m right behind, whenever your fallin
a big fight is just a small fraction
of us we just gotta be real and adapt it..x

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Michelle Lee

Laid still & its morning again,
10:10am. snaps out of it but not the problem.

Sylvester Naing

I’m trying to explain but theres her defence
...I respect you, the things that I said I never meant to
straight...wait for me bii it will get better it MUST GET BETTER..
we gotta do it step at a time even if it hurts im learning ur learning im...
yearning ur yearning for more.x

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Michelle Lee

‎16th Feb 6pm- 12am. Its time i wont forget nights like you. good bye tonight.
Sylvester Naing im sorry for bring out lastnight.

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Michelle Lee

Status: Hearts speeding, headaches, under my breath trying to feel less of crying,dizzy.

Thoughts: it's better in the morning, but the feeling will always be there until its solved.

situation: eyes closed, ignore the world, catch a breath and numb my thoughts to darkness.
......
last words: if i had one wish, i would choose to be oxygen, and not human;

Sylvester Naing

u know me then lets resolve this.x

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Michelle Lee

Milk, we can never talk about us, cause me and you would run, there's no use cause
we have too many rules to follow, you cant keep up with me, nor can i with you,
so as we'll just let this be as shallow as a punch and a laugh, knowing its my fault
even you as tough a man cant follow my need to run.

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Michelle Lee

I hate it when people run away from an unresolved problem.
i hate it when their shallow minds don't consider a second thought for solution.
i hate it that i werent even given the chance to call you witty or breath taking.
I hate it that when im trying my hardest and almost loosing my self
just to tell you how bad things are and yet, you ...don't understand.
I hate you for not making me realize how important you are

Michelle Lee

to the world, and evrryone else, to this, you did me wrong.

Sylvester Naing

 il do better next time promise.

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Michelle Lee

i wish you asked me before i brought it up,
i wish you'd smack me before i react that way,
i wish you'll keep on even more till im tired rather than the other way.
i wish you would do everything more and beyond the things i'd do so
i wouldnt feel this way. i wish you could show me better so i wont have to think more.
I wish you wouldn't ...blink your eyes before i have had something to say

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Michelle Lee

I'm so upset and tight i could kill the stars from shining. Darkness,
night sky... make me fly tonight. i dream of not such beauty, and imagine of not such light.
Good Morning, midnight. Make my ache vanish right. PAST, FUCK YOU from making me feel this way,
i can cry. i can kill, but this all goes to you, BURN the fuck away from my now.
I have righteousness to take care of, syl- my first.

Sylvester Naing

baby im sorry for making you feel this way maybe i thought i could help an give her words
an snap her out but i guess im not ready for her yet next time ill know when to stop an leave her bii..

next time just say..syl please dont its gonna ...
happen again ull know better to keep talkn so rest now ill be ere in the morning ♥

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Michelle Lee

But i cant love at all, im no lover. I could kill more than to give love.
 I would run faster than i could give way, i would die earlier than i were to give life,
i would to save more from hurting than to kill more from loving.
Tell me whats a girl to do, when she cant be as simple as 5 letters, happy.

Sylvester Naing

 to have someone there like me to know an feel
what they want an i want an thats 9 letters..sylvester..x

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Michelle Lee

im all over the moon, i wish i could let chu understand.
i love you.the way i'd cook, read you , brush your hair, kiss you that gentle way i never do.

i love him, the way we'd talk about anything, have a beer or two and cry out to life
about its flaws it've brought to us. may i love everyone in ways so different,
 that my Sylvester would... understand better than the rest ?

Sylvester Naing

 Yes you may michelle cause theres all types of love ♥


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Michelle Lee

syl, i dont put my self down, i'll telling you whats been kicking in my unsettled chest for
all these years and time, syl it fucks me up, and i wont let me fuck you up you understand.
i'll run if its good for you, but i'll stil love my better half. you dont understand how hard it
was for me to explain to you who u were to me compared to milk... i've been waiting for that time.

Sylvester Naing

dont run...when she told me bout him i felt eased knowing where my place was
strong an where his places was, an bii thank you..i feel like i should know when to stop asking
questions or talking to her so bii sorry for making u think way back u didnt need it yesterday
was good enough from 4-9pm..x

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Michelle Lee

‎"You'll get tired, i will hurt chu, you will be fallen, and i cant catch you."
that's something that'll be with us for long, to lovers and friends...
you wont need me. and i'll get use to it.

Sylvester Naing

i dont believe such words not after what we had 14/2/11 x

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Michelle Lee

Syl, i love you most. i love you so much it kills me a bit each day knowing i'd be the reason
 you're broken inside. I hate it when i think of you, it gets harder and harder each day to say goodbye.
Because just knowing you were happy was good enough, i could do it behind wall, watch u safe,
as long as i know u wont get hurt from the way i are, i'll be numb the third time and say i dont feel a thing at all...

Sylvester Naing

no more numbness i dont have to trust a word from her even if she dont trust her self...
but i do..u dont need to do this bii its just u trying to avoid what was before an i understand that
bii i do please dont give up on me...if u truellu love me ull wait for this to grow better..x
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Michelle Lee

when you dissapoint me, Jere, i had to loose my self to try harder, i didn't believe it,
 i took the blame to the way you acted... so it was my fault i dint guide you well,
 it was my fault you're not good enough for me, its my fault you were tired and
counldn't keep up with me, You disappointed me to the extent it was my fault
to tell my self you really did dissapoint me.

Michelle Lee

 i know one when i see one, but when i see wrong, there's none.

Michelle Lee

i fear we're ever too close to this syl.. no matter how much u feel you wont let this happen,
but if i reacted if relation to this , it'd be because i feel im doing somthin wrong over again, i dont wannt
to lose something uppermost precious to me.I just wanna be better than enough.

Sylvester Naing

 but im not him...as much as u feel or think or believe im not him im me an
i to said i never wanna be in the same situation ever again bi.

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Michelle Lee

your names give me the chills, because i fear to disappointments ones who mattered me most,
 it scares me the most to no matter what you do, i'll be in the middle of your control to let it run smooth,
And that my mind stores fear of lost and despair to the people i most care,
and what hurts most is I'm the reason to all they couldn't bare.

Sylvester Naing

 remember what was promised..x

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Michelle Lee

Syl, Milk, Jere, till one day you realise i'm a burden in your life, you'll notice you've worked
so finely at the start for something you cant be mindfully attached to.
Cause i meant it when i said its just me. Its how i am to make it not work.
Its how i'll be for me, but when its for others, i cant trust me to give myself to others.

Sylvester Naing
 one day..x

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Michelle Lee

Listen to every drop shimmer, i missed the things it did to me.

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17th feb Thursday next morn convo

S: 11:40am
tonight will get through this together bye bii please be okay
im feelin better hearing whats in her thoughts an mind so i can
be there for her.. lastnight i couldnt sleep but tonight i will sleep..
ciao bii i miss u.x

M: 11:42am
no wait till w/e focus .

S: 11:43am
no this is me trying harder more im like her i cant walk an not pretend i fell. promise bii

M: 11:44am
im not talking, be good please. keep safe driving.

S: 11:44am
this is me wanting

S:11:44am
<3

S: 11:44am
can u please want my need to make things better i cant sleep with
out knowing we got through this stage i will drive safe if she lets me even?

M: 11:45am
its noon bi. duties.

S:11:46am
im begging bii,

M: 11:46am
good noon, good arvo, good night. i love you

S: 11:46am
u never wanna see me begg><

M: 11:46am

please dont do my part

please dont

you'll be fine. coz i am

no more bii please

im trying to breathe here.

please.

S: 11:47am

ok

but when?

u know i know it has to be done.

M: 11:47am

not soon but close

thank you syl

S: 11:47am

kay bii

M: 11:48am

for ur time

S:11:48am

dont thank me

M: 11:48am

you must go

S: 11:48am

i didnt give u enough time

i have to do better

next time

M:11:48am

im use to it with everyone its fine.

take care.

S:11:48am

i miss u:"

ciao love,,xx

M: 11:49am

pls dont miss me

farewell.

S: 11:49am

hard not to

M:11:49am

and i 'll still love you syl '/

S: 11:50am

i know u do

M: 11:50am

bye

S: 11:50am

an i still love u too michelle

<3

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