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Michelle Le Meredith June 29 at 5:47pm
Michelle June 29 at 1:41am
I never told you many things so I guess its me to blame on this one. . . The split personalities. . The choked up thoughts of failure, the anger management I need. . , the extremist. . . All the things you cant see/feel. . You wont undertand my situation. . Coz you always believe everythin is fine or "what you see is what chu get" or :” till death do us apart”. .. . I've been sick inside for too long. . . And the thing is its showin in the outside too. . Mental shit is NOT spose to show on the out side. . . I dont need this now. . So ere i'm am, blinkin a million times in a second tryin to recall somethin, anythin. . . And cant. . Fine blame me for not being able to restore anythin in the world. For i've always been like that drowned by highs and lows, realism and fantasy, the cans and cants . Jumpin from one place to another . . . Blame whatever you need. . Coz maybe i've conditioned my self enough to be numb away from all the sick i'm in. . I'm sorry that numb took over me and this robotic heart that was once poundin hard for the world and for you. This is her takin all her own issues without noone. . Not even parents. . I'm proud of me. . Even if its the expense of everythin she had. . Atleast she dont fear. . Coz she have nothin to fear to loose. I'm stripped bare. And everyone can take anythin away. . For i've have nothin to live/die for.. But my own spirit.
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Jere June 29 at 1:49am
please..
and please again.. please do know
i;ve never blamed you for anything.
yes i've tried at times. i asked michelle timms was it wrong if i actually found that michelle lee was to be blamed.
then i realise i just cant. i've never blamed you. if im to blame.
i'd always blame myself for not understanding you enough in the first place to have judged you. im sorry.
but be all you have to in order to protect yourself.
i just needed you to let me know one last thing,
which is whether those 3 years , have you loved me and have you put your heart and soul into it.
and i realised you did, and timms agrees too that you have.
so dont chu ever blame yourself for anything anymore.
im taking a big step forward and leaving it all behind now.
i'll be sad when i have to and be happy when time allows me to.
at the very least i know from the depth of my heart that you loved me the very best you could.
thanks, michelle.
i hope the world do you good in the coming years.
life will not suck forever.
trust people's words on that, not mine.
i love you and i'll always care for you well-being.
update me whenever you have the time to.
i'm off on a long journey.
love you.
jere.
Michelle June 29 at 2:30am
I'm not sure how we survived. . But as I mentioned that similar light keeps me kickin. . . The bulbs will fuze. . The light will fade. . Fixin it too much will make it trip. And i am trippin. . Yeh. . I've loved you. . I knew why but know not now. . . Its the split personality thing that I'm still tryin to figure out. . .yeh and losin alot within that processed. . . But all that was from me recallin bits about you. . It frustrates me when its never all that comes bak to me. . I'm sorry syl, milk, tims, jarom and chu. . . Victims of my excessive ways. i guess I wouldn't have became who I am today if it wasnt for chu And my own fight. . Its never never easy lovin you. Its like a maze, walls that tries and trap me all over, but your the sky i can see. . And i'm in my own maze. . . . Everythin about me is deceivin if you can hear or touch it. Thats why I value speakin my mind. . Coz if I can fake it and be on false mode, so can others. Some just dont realise when doin it. For all times i've crushed you. . It was an excessive method to let one realise/ handle the world. . To let you familiarize with the feeling of reality,be the conditionin one needs to survive, mentally. . I do blame me for bein an extremist. If you were me,you'd do the same for who you cared for and maybe more, the greater good hurts.
our ambitions cant intervene with family. Coz without an ambition no mann can deserve to build anythin. Im only chasing my ambition, maybe thats saying that i can never love 100% till im secured, maybe that means love blinds me enough to take me away from my ambition, maybe its just hard to have both coz i value them equally as much. Forgive her world. Each of us have a long way. . Just remember we're in the same race. . What ever happens along the way is worth to be thankful for, without it. I'd still be blind deaf and mute.i 've always loved you. . Just learn the fact that it doesnt take no status to strip that level of appreciation I have for you as a person. I'm the 3rd high ego'd michelle speakin. And sayin . . thanks for the memories . I'm the 2nd Bitch who duckin still dont know how and why but aware that shes still thankful and blessin. And finally i'm that ur bie I was. And sayin that your heart is always blessed and your soul is always taken cared of coz ive loved u enough to not fail another..
And all together, she'd be thankfully appreciate this fulfillin experience. . As a last. . Like a new born and her phresh start. . Being greatful for a start assured, live and appreciate today as a gift, coz it is our present. I’d even go numb forever if u made u feel better.im sorry for loving u. Its goodbye. –Michelle.
I never told you many things so I guess its me to blame on this one. . . The split personalities. . The choked up thoughts of failure, the anger management I need. . , the extremist. . . All the things you cant see/feel. . You wont undertand my situation. . Coz you always believe everythin is fine or "what you see is what chu get" or :” till death do us apart”. .. . I've been sick inside for too long. . . And the thing is its showin in the outside too. . Mental shit is NOT spose to show on the out side. . . I dont need this now. . So ere i'm am, blinkin a million times in a second tryin to recall somethin, anythin. . . And cant. . Fine blame me for not being able to restore anythin in the world. For i've always been like that drowned by highs and lows, realism and fantasy, the cans and cants . Jumpin from one place to another . . . Blame whatever you need. . Coz maybe i've conditioned my self enough to be numb away from all the sick i'm in. . I'm sorry that numb took over me and this robotic heart that was once poundin hard for the world and for you. This is her takin all her own issues without noone. . Not even parents. . I'm proud of me. . Even if its the expense of everythin she had. . Atleast she dont fear. . Coz she have nothin to fear to loose. I'm stripped bare. And everyone can take anythin away. . For i've have nothin to live/die for.. But my own spirit.
Sent via Facebook Mobile
Jere June 29 at 1:49am
please..
and please again.. please do know
i;ve never blamed you for anything.
yes i've tried at times. i asked michelle timms was it wrong if i actually found that michelle lee was to be blamed.
then i realise i just cant. i've never blamed you. if im to blame.
i'd always blame myself for not understanding you enough in the first place to have judged you. im sorry.
but be all you have to in order to protect yourself.
i just needed you to let me know one last thing,
which is whether those 3 years , have you loved me and have you put your heart and soul into it.
and i realised you did, and timms agrees too that you have.
so dont chu ever blame yourself for anything anymore.
im taking a big step forward and leaving it all behind now.
i'll be sad when i have to and be happy when time allows me to.
at the very least i know from the depth of my heart that you loved me the very best you could.
thanks, michelle.
i hope the world do you good in the coming years.
life will not suck forever.
trust people's words on that, not mine.
i love you and i'll always care for you well-being.
update me whenever you have the time to.
i'm off on a long journey.
love you.
jere.
Michelle June 29 at 2:30am
I'm not sure how we survived. . But as I mentioned that similar light keeps me kickin. . . The bulbs will fuze. . The light will fade. . Fixin it too much will make it trip. And i am trippin. . Yeh. . I've loved you. . I knew why but know not now. . . Its the split personality thing that I'm still tryin to figure out. . .yeh and losin alot within that processed. . . But all that was from me recallin bits about you. . It frustrates me when its never all that comes bak to me. . I'm sorry syl, milk, tims, jarom and chu. . . Victims of my excessive ways. i guess I wouldn't have became who I am today if it wasnt for chu And my own fight. . Its never never easy lovin you. Its like a maze, walls that tries and trap me all over, but your the sky i can see. . And i'm in my own maze. . . . Everythin about me is deceivin if you can hear or touch it. Thats why I value speakin my mind. . Coz if I can fake it and be on false mode, so can others. Some just dont realise when doin it. For all times i've crushed you. . It was an excessive method to let one realise/ handle the world. . To let you familiarize with the feeling of reality,be the conditionin one needs to survive, mentally. . I do blame me for bein an extremist. If you were me,you'd do the same for who you cared for and maybe more, the greater good hurts.
our ambitions cant intervene with family. Coz without an ambition no mann can deserve to build anythin. Im only chasing my ambition, maybe thats saying that i can never love 100% till im secured, maybe that means love blinds me enough to take me away from my ambition, maybe its just hard to have both coz i value them equally as much. Forgive her world. Each of us have a long way. . Just remember we're in the same race. . What ever happens along the way is worth to be thankful for, without it. I'd still be blind deaf and mute.i 've always loved you. . Just learn the fact that it doesnt take no status to strip that level of appreciation I have for you as a person. I'm the 3rd high ego'd michelle speakin. And sayin . . thanks for the memories . I'm the 2nd Bitch who duckin still dont know how and why but aware that shes still thankful and blessin. And finally i'm that ur bie I was. And sayin that your heart is always blessed and your soul is always taken cared of coz ive loved u enough to not fail another..
And all together, she'd be thankfully appreciate this fulfillin experience. . As a last. . Like a new born and her phresh start. . Being greatful for a start assured, live and appreciate today as a gift, coz it is our present. I’d even go numb forever if u made u feel better.im sorry for loving u. Its goodbye. –Michelle.
Michelle Le Meredith June 29 at 5:47pm
Michelle June 29 at 12:53am
You said I should take a break. . This is it. . But when shes at work. . No ones there. .
I dont need syl for "parties, cars, cash or wtv dude" I am all the above even without him. Remember those days when i'm bubbly just talkin shallow shi like Theres no tomorrow. . Me and syl chill for tht, like we're on a get away. . Like sick people takin medication. . . Yeah I guess that some sort of closure. . Bout definately deep enough to trigger the down side of reality. You know i've been sick. . Sick from the alienation around people, sick from the lack of will power, sick from sobbin everynight to a diary. I said I couldn't do it any more. . Coz my ambitions come before everythin. . And its at stake . . my only medication is hope. When all else around me about chu dies. . What can I reach for jere. . Tell me. . . Without light we cant see, without oxygen we cant breathe. . You were all tht bub. . But somethin is chokin and blindin my hopes for you. My comp crashed, everythin died 3years worth of words, visual sensation. . You have no idea how much I could've . . . Aih, i'm like 3person in one. . You know I need to reminisce. . Sigh. . The sony died. . All messages everythin. . . This sim reformatted. . Slit my throat. If only u could see ...
Jere June 29 at 1:14am
3 years seems so little of a deal when it comes to where we stand now, on shaky grounds.
i hope if when yer medication becomes a reality fantasy.. you would have the initiative to tell it to me first on.. cuz if im gona lose another love to the likes of them falling for others again. i just wanna at least know it this time from you.. that's all i'd ask for from the 3 years of loyalty and trust i've patiently grinded up for you.
and if finding ways to remember how much i loved you is sum-ed up by the messages and conversations i've sent to you.. then yer valueing me in all the wrong ways.. i thought you'd knew that better than many else...
if my love for you over the 3 years that has passed is needed to me remembered thru written messages.. worst of all needed to be reminded of.. i'd rather they were bottled up and threw away because perhaps the ocean deserved them better. they appreciate it by floating it on them forever and free...
and when all else around you about me dies.. then perhaps you needed me to fade away.. i may save you the dignity and do so, bie.. because i love you above all else.. above all the materialistic reasons, pride and whattttever at all..
and as the song sings, im lonely and im tired.. im missing you again.. that sums up how i feel about things now.
Michelle June 29 at 1:16am
Syl. . I dont know but. . He wouldnt be enough if he werent able to handle my ways. . But when We chill. . I forget all my own rules. . . Navigation in the mind turns into switch off mode. . Another close friend told me to love what’s healthy for me. . . I guess i'll be sick forever. . Coz I can never reach to what I want. . A coma might feel nice. Just drownin in a frown 4eva.
Just to let chu know. . . I talk to guys like how i've talked to you day 1 . . . Simple and justified, flood with respected primary possitive intentions, i was never born flirty and... Never considered their status of any forms. . Coz my goal it self was to maximise my own. . . You said it like you dint know me. . . Like typical chick demandin for manly traits- the hierarchy bull shit. You know me , im my own government! Syl cant take it even when I stand before him, standing grounds wise or jus being simply flooding ones’ authority, so thts the status . .. . Cars, my goal outruns the rest too. . And i'm interested in them like any tomboys out ther so. . Blame me for test drivin in others'. . . His dj-ing is like my meditation. . I'd kill in front of a mirror and brain wash my self. . While music simple drowns his mind. . Like a painkiller. . Thats his night shifts in which mirrors my night time.. I mean as a person boo, he is just another dude tryin to keep up with himself and life, arent we all? You judge my excessive ambition. . Claims he's like no other. . Boo,where do you stand? I'm done tryin to seek ur inner realisation now. . Coz I know you'd see in time. . Just need you to know that we're all in the same race. . But in all diff place in level and location. I'm startin to realise that I can do everythin I want. . Except reachin to the place I wanna go. . Even if its to a person's mind or soul. . Even as close as a whole that we were. . Can part this far and block each others' access into one another's mind and body. . Yea this is it. . Symtoms of a sick mess. . I'm sorry I loved you.
You said I should take a break. . This is it. . But when shes at work. . No ones there. .
I dont need syl for "parties, cars, cash or wtv dude" I am all the above even without him. Remember those days when i'm bubbly just talkin shallow shi like Theres no tomorrow. . Me and syl chill for tht, like we're on a get away. . Like sick people takin medication. . . Yeah I guess that some sort of closure. . Bout definately deep enough to trigger the down side of reality. You know i've been sick. . Sick from the alienation around people, sick from the lack of will power, sick from sobbin everynight to a diary. I said I couldn't do it any more. . Coz my ambitions come before everythin. . And its at stake . . my only medication is hope. When all else around me about chu dies. . What can I reach for jere. . Tell me. . . Without light we cant see, without oxygen we cant breathe. . You were all tht bub. . But somethin is chokin and blindin my hopes for you. My comp crashed, everythin died 3years worth of words, visual sensation. . You have no idea how much I could've . . . Aih, i'm like 3person in one. . You know I need to reminisce. . Sigh. . The sony died. . All messages everythin. . . This sim reformatted. . Slit my throat. If only u could see ...
Jere June 29 at 1:14am
3 years seems so little of a deal when it comes to where we stand now, on shaky grounds.
i hope if when yer medication becomes a reality fantasy.. you would have the initiative to tell it to me first on.. cuz if im gona lose another love to the likes of them falling for others again. i just wanna at least know it this time from you.. that's all i'd ask for from the 3 years of loyalty and trust i've patiently grinded up for you.
and if finding ways to remember how much i loved you is sum-ed up by the messages and conversations i've sent to you.. then yer valueing me in all the wrong ways.. i thought you'd knew that better than many else...
if my love for you over the 3 years that has passed is needed to me remembered thru written messages.. worst of all needed to be reminded of.. i'd rather they were bottled up and threw away because perhaps the ocean deserved them better. they appreciate it by floating it on them forever and free...
and when all else around you about me dies.. then perhaps you needed me to fade away.. i may save you the dignity and do so, bie.. because i love you above all else.. above all the materialistic reasons, pride and whattttever at all..
and as the song sings, im lonely and im tired.. im missing you again.. that sums up how i feel about things now.
Michelle June 29 at 1:16am
Syl. . I dont know but. . He wouldnt be enough if he werent able to handle my ways. . But when We chill. . I forget all my own rules. . . Navigation in the mind turns into switch off mode. . Another close friend told me to love what’s healthy for me. . . I guess i'll be sick forever. . Coz I can never reach to what I want. . A coma might feel nice. Just drownin in a frown 4eva.
Just to let chu know. . . I talk to guys like how i've talked to you day 1 . . . Simple and justified, flood with respected primary possitive intentions, i was never born flirty and... Never considered their status of any forms. . Coz my goal it self was to maximise my own. . . You said it like you dint know me. . . Like typical chick demandin for manly traits- the hierarchy bull shit. You know me , im my own government! Syl cant take it even when I stand before him, standing grounds wise or jus being simply flooding ones’ authority, so thts the status . .. . Cars, my goal outruns the rest too. . And i'm interested in them like any tomboys out ther so. . Blame me for test drivin in others'. . . His dj-ing is like my meditation. . I'd kill in front of a mirror and brain wash my self. . While music simple drowns his mind. . Like a painkiller. . Thats his night shifts in which mirrors my night time.. I mean as a person boo, he is just another dude tryin to keep up with himself and life, arent we all? You judge my excessive ambition. . Claims he's like no other. . Boo,where do you stand? I'm done tryin to seek ur inner realisation now. . Coz I know you'd see in time. . Just need you to know that we're all in the same race. . But in all diff place in level and location. I'm startin to realise that I can do everythin I want. . Except reachin to the place I wanna go. . Even if its to a person's mind or soul. . Even as close as a whole that we were. . Can part this far and block each others' access into one another's mind and body. . Yea this is it. . Symtoms of a sick mess. . I'm sorry I loved you.
Michelle Le Meredith June 29 at 5:48pm
Jere June 28 at 7:47pm
I think I finally understand what's going on.
The distance has taken a long toll since it’s has been a long way now.
Sylvester is the type of guy a person like you would dig.
The "style". Tattoos and fast cars with the DJ thing going on, funky hairstyles and there with a car to take you out and all.
and couple it along with the "early lovey dovey syndrome" that people get when the first fall for each other cuz its all just happy go lucky fun.
things that i cannot offer due to the fact im not physically there in perth and the fact that things are so much cheaper to spend there.
and because of that you want me to work hard,
to be something in the future so that i as a person, can be attractive enough to win you back in the future from nothing but pure success in economy stability and money wise.
your perceived individuality of a person that could win your heart back from a guy like him.
a guy like sylvester, i was thinking to myself. a guy who lives a life like him. how far can he go in life
he gona stick to DJing forever and get drunk with his bunch of friends every night. what future awaits him?
u know that's different from me. im still studying
im still living with my parents. i still live from their money.
but someday i wont. and u want me there soon
but for now, a guy like him provides you all u ever wanted.
fun, care, physical(hugs and kisses), money, car, the type of looks in a guy that you wanna have beside you with.
i hope all these are just in my head.
im tired, im lonely, and i missing you again.
finals just aint doing much justice to me.
and remember i asked you something
if someday you loved somebody else or want to cheat on me,
please dont let me be the last to know. thats all.
the photos of you holding hands and all with him, going for parties and having wild time together like couples.
it doesnt justify for me.
all it does is breaks my heart more and more
i hope its not one of your "i let you see what i want you to see" things cuz this, this is just bad. its a little too extreme for me.
unless you dump me hard and dump me so bad that i perceive it as you want a new life with a new guy.
if not. just tell me what's going on.. please...
its taking too much of a damage and attention from me... honestly.
sincerely, Jere.
I think I finally understand what's going on.
The distance has taken a long toll since it’s has been a long way now.
Sylvester is the type of guy a person like you would dig.
The "style". Tattoos and fast cars with the DJ thing going on, funky hairstyles and there with a car to take you out and all.
and couple it along with the "early lovey dovey syndrome" that people get when the first fall for each other cuz its all just happy go lucky fun.
things that i cannot offer due to the fact im not physically there in perth and the fact that things are so much cheaper to spend there.
and because of that you want me to work hard,
to be something in the future so that i as a person, can be attractive enough to win you back in the future from nothing but pure success in economy stability and money wise.
your perceived individuality of a person that could win your heart back from a guy like him.
a guy like sylvester, i was thinking to myself. a guy who lives a life like him. how far can he go in life
he gona stick to DJing forever and get drunk with his bunch of friends every night. what future awaits him?
u know that's different from me. im still studying
im still living with my parents. i still live from their money.
but someday i wont. and u want me there soon
but for now, a guy like him provides you all u ever wanted.
fun, care, physical(hugs and kisses), money, car, the type of looks in a guy that you wanna have beside you with.
i hope all these are just in my head.
im tired, im lonely, and i missing you again.
finals just aint doing much justice to me.
and remember i asked you something
if someday you loved somebody else or want to cheat on me,
please dont let me be the last to know. thats all.
the photos of you holding hands and all with him, going for parties and having wild time together like couples.
it doesnt justify for me.
all it does is breaks my heart more and more
i hope its not one of your "i let you see what i want you to see" things cuz this, this is just bad. its a little too extreme for me.
unless you dump me hard and dump me so bad that i perceive it as you want a new life with a new guy.
if not. just tell me what's going on.. please...
its taking too much of a damage and attention from me... honestly.
sincerely, Jere.
Michelle Le Meredith June 29 at 6:01pm
When ur ready boo, a glimpse of my past might just have u see…
wtv u feel, react, see and think… let me know as u can always have her atleast a friend enough to understand. I just wanna learn to be satisfied…. Thankful.. enough to bless.. stay blissful. For all the restrictions that held me back for all the reasons I needed u to see, yea.. guess its just me… and am sorry… maybe someday.. my ambition could be a reason why we part too… pray to never kno… so ere it goes…
____________________________________________________________________________________
situation: jere was the wifey, the friend, the brother, anything there is…till I found my self
falling real hard one day, everything died.. all optimism vanished, had to work back up to retain my ownself back… numbed my self as it was the fastest way to get back on track… as I lost track of me, I lost tracked of him and the me that he was caught into- the bubbly lovable charismatic child.and now, its the Cold robotic machine at work… that’s what she had to evolve into….. and till now.. it became her… old chelle vanished.. the chelle im now is sorry for jere’s lost.
____________________________________________________________________________________
wtv u feel, react, see and think… let me know as u can always have her atleast a friend enough to understand. I just wanna learn to be satisfied…. Thankful.. enough to bless.. stay blissful. For all the restrictions that held me back for all the reasons I needed u to see, yea.. guess its just me… and am sorry… maybe someday.. my ambition could be a reason why we part too… pray to never kno… so ere it goes…
____________________________________________________________________________________
situation: jere was the wifey, the friend, the brother, anything there is…till I found my self
falling real hard one day, everything died.. all optimism vanished, had to work back up to retain my ownself back… numbed my self as it was the fastest way to get back on track… as I lost track of me, I lost tracked of him and the me that he was caught into- the bubbly lovable charismatic child.and now, its the Cold robotic machine at work… that’s what she had to evolve into….. and till now.. it became her… old chelle vanished.. the chelle im now is sorry for jere’s lost.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Sylvester Naing June 29 at 6:16pm
mmm...
I see jeres side of the story an im not judging on any base about who he is or how he does things...what he said was tru in some ways but not in most ways...
1) i party an get drunk with friends - whats wrong with having fun on a w.e after working your week off to earn a lil to spend a lil, i never said i was rich an im not it took my heart an mind too get where i am today a job an car an the friends that i have in my life...i dont have fancy hair i just like to create an style my own unique ways an people apprciate that just how i appriciate ur ways...
2) the car it wasnt easy but i got it, but dad disapproves the car but i faught back to get my own car pay it my self with out his help to show that im capable to live like an adult...
3) sure i dont study nemore its not cause i wasnt smart its cause its what i wanna do when i grow up...some wanna be a docter an some other things, but painting is my specialty i show skills in my own ways of making ugly things pretty with a touch of a brush...DJn hmmm i dj to earn a lil for the hobbie i love i grew up listeining to music so i wanted to express my own ways to show an play music for people to make em dance an have fun, an ye why not dj or do somefyn that makes u happy...my dream is too dj for clubs an show people what i can do in my own times whats the harm in that i dont see cause i didnt just know how to dj i took my own time too practice what i loved doin...
Im not perfect i never was i never will be but u make me complete more then i ever will or had...
Im sorry michelle im sorry jere ill go now il be home soon michelle its my time for now...x
I see jeres side of the story an im not judging on any base about who he is or how he does things...what he said was tru in some ways but not in most ways...
1) i party an get drunk with friends - whats wrong with having fun on a w.e after working your week off to earn a lil to spend a lil, i never said i was rich an im not it took my heart an mind too get where i am today a job an car an the friends that i have in my life...i dont have fancy hair i just like to create an style my own unique ways an people apprciate that just how i appriciate ur ways...
2) the car it wasnt easy but i got it, but dad disapproves the car but i faught back to get my own car pay it my self with out his help to show that im capable to live like an adult...
3) sure i dont study nemore its not cause i wasnt smart its cause its what i wanna do when i grow up...some wanna be a docter an some other things, but painting is my specialty i show skills in my own ways of making ugly things pretty with a touch of a brush...DJn hmmm i dj to earn a lil for the hobbie i love i grew up listeining to music so i wanted to express my own ways to show an play music for people to make em dance an have fun, an ye why not dj or do somefyn that makes u happy...my dream is too dj for clubs an show people what i can do in my own times whats the harm in that i dont see cause i didnt just know how to dj i took my own time too practice what i loved doin...
Im not perfect i never was i never will be but u make me complete more then i ever will or had...
Im sorry michelle im sorry jere ill go now il be home soon michelle its my time for now...x
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