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Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 5:39pm
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Michelle Le Meredith July 6 at 10:16pm
6th July 2010 09:12pm
naa, jst will to live the present and not
the pass, i dare not use he word love again.. Untill i know what it means.. how are you?
.. em, im running out of time with school stuff.. not sure how and when its right to handle this before loosing my focus..i gotta admit, i get caught up easily to the things im passionate about in life soo yeh, my modes have to be applied.. hmm.. im not sure...how and when its right to jst cruise thru about things.. its never the right time.
[ ahhhhh forgive me chelle for using fb again.. my phone lets me down -.-" slit wrist threory hah!]
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Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 3:00pm
If I lovedd” syl sooo much I would said it out to you…it jst aint ther aint, I aint rushing nothin , not again… syl is more than many had thought of him as typical, so im sorry if ther was a bit of magic. But I cant afford to feel for anything now.. if I do yeah, I’ll hold on to the end of my own shit…
hmm… I admit I cant remember much bout u bee… if only u were my present… that’s all the reason to feel bitter to. The things I can never have.. the destination we can never meet, career wise, ambition, the things we wanna do, travel, studies, even to the simplest touch bee… its almost impossible…with two opposing minds like ours =s cant believe we dint notice this at all… maybe we were the ones who got carried away with the “pre-relationship” phase when it was all luvey dovey, for what.. years? Sigh, tell me one reason to not feel bitterr… coz I got nothing…
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Jere July 7 at 3:32pm
thats because you ask of so much from a relationship watching or learning too much drama in your life. its fictional u dumb headed. you think every other guy must be like fucking robert pattinson ??? super good looking.. ALWAYS understands his lover.. and all that fictional drama story shit? APPRECIATE AND BE HAPPY WITH WHAT WE HAD THATS WHAT YOUR SUPPOSED TO DO.
YOU!! you are just like every other girl i can see around Malaysia itself. watching too much drama. LEARNING too much drama. LIVING a fictional life filled with drama and creating more for yourselves each day. FOR WHAT??? FOR making people around you live a harder day each day???? you can't even remember the things i've done for you.. who are you to say that "if only i was your present". stupid stupid empty words. IM LOST. IM TRYING TO UNDERSTAND YOU. ridiculous. destination we can never meet? lol..
everything used to be a "present" once u fool. when it becomes a past it turns into memories. can you understand simple stuff like that? if u expect everything to be a "future" and "present".. you might as well re-live a new day everyday.. yeah?
opposing mind so what.. we didn't live in a lie before that.
until u frikkin created Drama for you and me. when we could've been simple minded.
and you could've just tell it to me like a lover or a friend that you wanted a change in life for yourself for a moment and YOU KNOW i would've let you deal with ur life, ambition and career.
but NOOO. u choose to make it so darn great.
first u be cold to me.
second you just tell me off you don't remember me cuz of yer phone gone..
third, you just blew me off. great
just like how i was blew off by my last ex.
and i loved you thinking you were true to me and were willing to go more.
I KNOW YOU STILL WOULD. but stupid drama brain washing yourself.
fuck. fuck this. fuck all these. I SHOULD BE THE ONE FEELING BITTER PLEASE NOT YOU MY GOD.
"sorry to syl, bapes, timms and me.." WHAT???
go feel sorry for yourself..
and mostly . feel sorry for me.. syl takes your shit?
i've been taking a whole lot more shit and i didn't even complain or break a sweat over 3 years.. and u frikkin blurt that out to my face saying he takes your SHIT??? then what was i???
u dont even remember who used to take all your shit when u had to spill or talk to..
you don't even remember who would wait for u under the sky rain or shine.
YOU DONT EVEN REMEMBER.. who would wait for you every year or 2 just to finally see you again..
who ALWAYS KEPT HIS HEART OPEN FOR YOU EVEN IF ITS SHUT.
who drove high and low.. just to drop you home safe....
fuck all these.
i believe until now i break all these out.. you'll still never appreciate me despite all i did and do for you. at least i remember words you spoke to me.. and do's and do not's of michelle that i learn and picked up myself. i care enough to do so.
feel sorry.. haha.. i see. i should look in the mirror and feel sorry for myself for being played out this way at the very end....
and i thought "hey michelle's true lets give it my all.. i know i can do this one more time jianyau!".
down the drain.. alllllll down the drain...
all the times i missed you... down the drain..
all the words i spoke to you.. all the lessons in life i taught you on how to improve socially and help you up catching all your falls before... down the friikkin smelly drain..
at the end of this mess, i just hope someday you will drop this drama for yourself and learn to deal things the way every other thinking/feeling human does and not how OneTreeHill or Gossip Girl or Twilight writers tells the actors to.
i bet you would hate me after this.
but its better than you can't even remember me as a person anymore..
and still. at the very end of this stupid lame story i tell you..
i still feel for you and i still wish you would set things right with me.
Timms was wrong about this.. she gives it too much credit..
you had a choice to make michelle lee. i might've not been the perfect choice for u in life.. but at least i made myself worthy of being one that was selected.
but now im just a piece of shit. stepped on, used.. played.. whatever at all... the worst was being hurt...
BEING HURT FOR DOING ALL I COULD TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
and the best joke is.. i wasn't even hurt cuz i was trying so hard... I WAS HURT CUZ YOU DIDN'T CARE MUCH! hahahaha.
human nature ay? they only see the flaws and errors and remember the mistakes of others and hold it agaisnt them.
im thankful i at least as a person.. cares and remember the littlest detail about people and care for those soft spots.
YOU TALK about a MASK your wearing???
you think i don't wear those at times?
when i have to deal with people who i can't stand... dealing with people who are so hurt when I myself.. hurting like nuts.. i don't need a mask to show a different face and emotion then???
maybe i'll never understand you. YOU as in YOU... but don't think i don't know what it feels like doing something for others in the expense of yourself cuz i did that for you as well michelle lee.
god bless you and may life serve you well the least.
typing this... was oneeeee heartache i can never forget.. x)
sayonara...
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Michelle Le Meredith July 6 at 10:16pm
6th July 2010 09:12pm
naa, jst will to live the present and not
the pass, i dare not use he word love again.. Untill i know what it means.. how are you?
.. em, im running out of time with school stuff.. not sure how and when its right to handle this before loosing my focus..i gotta admit, i get caught up easily to the things im passionate about in life soo yeh, my modes have to be applied.. hmm.. im not sure...how and when its right to jst cruise thru about things.. its never the right time.
[ ahhhhh forgive me chelle for using fb again.. my phone lets me down -.-" slit wrist threory hah!]
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Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 3:00pm
If I lovedd” syl sooo much I would said it out to you…it jst aint ther aint, I aint rushing nothin , not again… syl is more than many had thought of him as typical, so im sorry if ther was a bit of magic. But I cant afford to feel for anything now.. if I do yeah, I’ll hold on to the end of my own shit…
hmm… I admit I cant remember much bout u bee… if only u were my present… that’s all the reason to feel bitter to. The things I can never have.. the destination we can never meet, career wise, ambition, the things we wanna do, travel, studies, even to the simplest touch bee… its almost impossible…with two opposing minds like ours =s cant believe we dint notice this at all… maybe we were the ones who got carried away with the “pre-relationship” phase when it was all luvey dovey, for what.. years? Sigh, tell me one reason to not feel bitterr… coz I got nothing…
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Jere July 7 at 3:32pm
thats because you ask of so much from a relationship watching or learning too much drama in your life. its fictional u dumb headed. you think every other guy must be like fucking robert pattinson ??? super good looking.. ALWAYS understands his lover.. and all that fictional drama story shit? APPRECIATE AND BE HAPPY WITH WHAT WE HAD THATS WHAT YOUR SUPPOSED TO DO.
YOU!! you are just like every other girl i can see around Malaysia itself. watching too much drama. LEARNING too much drama. LIVING a fictional life filled with drama and creating more for yourselves each day. FOR WHAT??? FOR making people around you live a harder day each day???? you can't even remember the things i've done for you.. who are you to say that "if only i was your present". stupid stupid empty words. IM LOST. IM TRYING TO UNDERSTAND YOU. ridiculous. destination we can never meet? lol..
everything used to be a "present" once u fool. when it becomes a past it turns into memories. can you understand simple stuff like that? if u expect everything to be a "future" and "present".. you might as well re-live a new day everyday.. yeah?
opposing mind so what.. we didn't live in a lie before that.
until u frikkin created Drama for you and me. when we could've been simple minded.
and you could've just tell it to me like a lover or a friend that you wanted a change in life for yourself for a moment and YOU KNOW i would've let you deal with ur life, ambition and career.
but NOOO. u choose to make it so darn great.
first u be cold to me.
second you just tell me off you don't remember me cuz of yer phone gone..
third, you just blew me off. great
just like how i was blew off by my last ex.
and i loved you thinking you were true to me and were willing to go more.
I KNOW YOU STILL WOULD. but stupid drama brain washing yourself.
fuck. fuck this. fuck all these. I SHOULD BE THE ONE FEELING BITTER PLEASE NOT YOU MY GOD.
"sorry to syl, bapes, timms and me.." WHAT???
go feel sorry for yourself..
and mostly . feel sorry for me.. syl takes your shit?
i've been taking a whole lot more shit and i didn't even complain or break a sweat over 3 years.. and u frikkin blurt that out to my face saying he takes your SHIT??? then what was i???
u dont even remember who used to take all your shit when u had to spill or talk to..
you don't even remember who would wait for u under the sky rain or shine.
YOU DONT EVEN REMEMBER.. who would wait for you every year or 2 just to finally see you again..
who ALWAYS KEPT HIS HEART OPEN FOR YOU EVEN IF ITS SHUT.
who drove high and low.. just to drop you home safe....
fuck all these.
i believe until now i break all these out.. you'll still never appreciate me despite all i did and do for you. at least i remember words you spoke to me.. and do's and do not's of michelle that i learn and picked up myself. i care enough to do so.
feel sorry.. haha.. i see. i should look in the mirror and feel sorry for myself for being played out this way at the very end....
and i thought "hey michelle's true lets give it my all.. i know i can do this one more time jianyau!".
down the drain.. alllllll down the drain...
all the times i missed you... down the drain..
all the words i spoke to you.. all the lessons in life i taught you on how to improve socially and help you up catching all your falls before... down the friikkin smelly drain..
at the end of this mess, i just hope someday you will drop this drama for yourself and learn to deal things the way every other thinking/feeling human does and not how OneTreeHill or Gossip Girl or Twilight writers tells the actors to.
i bet you would hate me after this.
but its better than you can't even remember me as a person anymore..
and still. at the very end of this stupid lame story i tell you..
i still feel for you and i still wish you would set things right with me.
Timms was wrong about this.. she gives it too much credit..
you had a choice to make michelle lee. i might've not been the perfect choice for u in life.. but at least i made myself worthy of being one that was selected.
but now im just a piece of shit. stepped on, used.. played.. whatever at all... the worst was being hurt...
BEING HURT FOR DOING ALL I COULD TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.
and the best joke is.. i wasn't even hurt cuz i was trying so hard... I WAS HURT CUZ YOU DIDN'T CARE MUCH! hahahaha.
human nature ay? they only see the flaws and errors and remember the mistakes of others and hold it agaisnt them.
im thankful i at least as a person.. cares and remember the littlest detail about people and care for those soft spots.
YOU TALK about a MASK your wearing???
you think i don't wear those at times?
when i have to deal with people who i can't stand... dealing with people who are so hurt when I myself.. hurting like nuts.. i don't need a mask to show a different face and emotion then???
maybe i'll never understand you. YOU as in YOU... but don't think i don't know what it feels like doing something for others in the expense of yourself cuz i did that for you as well michelle lee.
god bless you and may life serve you well the least.
typing this... was oneeeee heartache i can never forget.. x)
sayonara...
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Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 5:40pm
Jere July 7 at 3:44pm
you heartless woman.. the least you could've done was to appreciate the memories we had together. Because if you recall em.. i've never done anything... ever.. wrong .. or intended to hurt you. NONE..
if you can't even appreciate the "past" or memories... cuz its what shapes us in the future and present.. then i'll keep it for myself.. i deserve them.. cuz i played more than just my part. i gave my all.
what are you without your past? heh..
that was the least u could do.. be happy with the memories we had.. and not having needed things to help u remember the little things i meant to you. disgusting.. i was that forgettable.. must be my voice and looks ..and height..
i did nothing wrong michelle.. i did nothing wrong..
you did me wrong, and you make it sound as if the problem was "us".
at least all of our memories are safe here in my mind.. the little things.. my phone.. for the words you told me.. which i don't even know if they still mean the same when u read them again =/
all those words with hopes and trust and faith.. gone.
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Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 4:04pm
U cross the line. And the thing is I hope ur happy u said all that coz, ur wrongfulness just cant get any worst than that, and I over trying to correct them all. I do what I believe is right I don’t need to break it to ya bout my every step, blame ur self for failing to keep up.…for the least, I don’t deny to reality I don’t place my self in a sphere and deny that I’m trapped
u cross the line. Ong jian yau. Lost my respect. Everything. Hypocrite, childish. Anything… I’ll say it… snap out of it.
u are my drama so SHUT the fck up! As if I had a choice but to accept u the way u are.. so finally she rips, hope u’re pleased with this out come. I m too dissapointed to dedicate anymore sincere words, and I can tell u this in the most civilised and mature manner that, I don’t value fiction book[ & this is symbolic to alll the conventional things even in a relationship]. Never thought bitter can go worst… this is our happy ending. Hope u can look back and still see this as something.. coz u did FUCK it up again. & the thing is, ur blind… to all the things I do and u’re helpless from it too…
ask ur self bub…
u ‘ve always been there… jst there. Yeah at that time I never knew how to question ppl’s ways… I do now.. coz its all bout change, rising, not staying in one place all ur life and not moving in anyway… if u ong jian yau cant handle a lil change, maybe u shud start to face reality… everyone around me see growth.. that michelle is better, shes “not stuck in her room no more”. “Shes back”… haha I rather be that… yeah I admit I prioritise my passion before everything everyone else. This is my only reason to be selfish.. so ere it is, something u can NEVER handle. And there u are being a so called mature aged 22 yr old crying kicking screaming trying to get ur toy back… I don’t play games, used wtv, I don’t cheat or wtv u said was [ fucking funny to me] stop blaming the world on this. So u are childish. Never admited to that before. I guess u need to see more in the real world, it was never love…it was a relation of two- on one same ship! Michelle timms has always been right, so have i… so have everyone else.. BUT u were the one failed to see. Coz ur in ur own world… still stuck from the dream, even niagara cant wake u yet , coz ur too deep… is the world wrongs or is it just u?
have u ever thought about it? Like in a relationship we shouldn’t be trying too hard coz things shud float in one piece… we tried…too hard, ever considered that a mistake in the first place? When would u realise that trying ur best in something on the expense of ur self to the extent of the unnecessary WAS the trial & error? U still don’t see it. Ur still blaming everything but it. Sigh, sympathy ryt ere. Atleast maybe u can think of all that shit u said about me and convinced ur self they’re all truuueeeee there by make u happier? [ that’s enough for me, this is dramatic, and the thing is ive been ME, from day 1 growth into now, so I guess u failed keeping up with me] just stop blaming everything and reflect what what really shook us okay, that’s all there is to consider… hope ur okay… im still me, you shud try and touch on reality soon. Chaoo bub.. x
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Jere July 7 at 4:16pm
why? why am i always the one to blame..
fine. its me. i'll see it all someday.
its me its me its me its me its me its me.
consider it then. yes im crying but i aint kicking and screaming.
im crying cuz im hurt. and fine
i wont blame the world. i always never did.
but you told me its time i stop blaming myself once..
i always blamed myself.
back track to all the reasons that made u dissapointed at me once. cuz i always said sorry. i always weaken myself before i put some strength. but you said it was wrong. now this is wrong cuz i see things wrongly again..
im sorry i crossed the line. at the end i just loved you too much. do you see it? do you do you?
you blame me. you call me childish cuz i finally spill out what i think inside.. i havent blurted out for so long..
you never gave me a chance..
yes.. i may be childish at times..
sorry i made you see things wrongly..
sorry for all i've said and done..
sorry for existing in this life ..
sorry i came into your life..
and why is trying too hard wrong??? why??
u wont tell me. you wont tell me whats wrong but just tell me off..
do you still care about me? =/
and i'm sorry for all i said about you cuz it was the only way to get you to tell me how u feel inside.
no im not happy. im not even proud of it for a fact cuz all i ever wanted was you.
but you wouldnt give. you took it away from me..
and i'm sorry i cant keep up. with your ways..
but have u ever kept up with my ways? =/
i am your drama.. i am the source of it..
but just tell me one thing..
have i loved you enough? have i done enough?
aside from this... did a person like me deserved a happy ending?
just tell me.. the truth..
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Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 4:16pm
heartless woman. Coz saying that makes u happy , say it a million times, so it’ll engrave it self into everypicture u see of me, DO IT. Coz im heartless, coz I chose to forget coz I couldn’t help but to wash them all away.. coz I chose to have a fucking psychosis from loosing my self and either start fresh [ which is now THE HEARTLESS woman] or STAY in the “perfect” past with u in it and stay broken.
please. As if I chose everything.. everything happened for a reason. Everything have always been false interpretations of me, im tired of correcting my intentions that had never meant no harm. U made everything dark, coz u already believe everything im doing challenges ur values thereby seeing the same as the “wrong”… “you did me wrong, and you make it sound as if the problem was "us"” I would feel angry from tht but I got none, its more dissapointed, a lil hopelessness and jst the biggest sigh of a slight grin at present… I dare u to say we have NO problem. U run from ur own, u deny its there, and u dare to tell me I DID YOU WRONG when all a wifey could do was kindly help u to realise. And when that fails, she’d go to the extreme , shake u ! coz WE are the problem. Ur stuck . as if we ever needed anything if we were strong ryt here ryt now. FCK the memories. Tell me they can give u a future! Tell me that can change things, tell me they can Make u stronger! Tell me they can retrieve whats gone! I don’t need memories to carry on, so unleash ur self from the past, find a reason to live/die for ryt here ryt now. U got nothin but papers…
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Jere July 7 at 4:26pm
yes i did you wrong. it was me.. i wont blame you for being dissapointed at me. i blew up. i messed up.
but i will keep you one promise...
i told you once someday when things turn sour.. i'll take the blame for you
not to say i dont deserve to be blamed anyway right?
i'm sorry michelle lee..
i guess.. i never deserved your true love from the very start.
im a monster. im terrible..
i guess all i do good was force ppl to see things the way i do.
i'm sorry.
and no i'm not happy with you being dissapointed at me..
i always wanted you to be proud of me.. but i guess i fucked up big time..
and i believe nothing i can do now will take away how you see me as anymore forever..
im just that big kid living in his own world.. unable to kick his doors open to see the way others do...
i'm sorry you have to deal with my problems. im sorry my problems and all the drama and heartache i caused you slowed you down in all ways and means...
i just wanted you to be true to me..
its alright. bie.. as much as u hate to hear this or want me to say this.. or whether i deserve it.. let me take the blame..
i'll go.. i'll walk off.. i never deserved you..
i was a walking false dream. a fictional reality of my own.
just so happen i came into your life and stole you ='/
im sorry.. i sincerely am.... ='/
i'll go......... k? i'll go....
i love you..............................................................
i really.. and honestly want you. to make it big someday... cuz i care.. please do well and please grow well.. even if you wont remember me someday i will. and i'll be proud of you.. im just another stepping stone that turned out to be a hard and slippery rock k?
goodbye... bie.
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you heartless woman.. the least you could've done was to appreciate the memories we had together. Because if you recall em.. i've never done anything... ever.. wrong .. or intended to hurt you. NONE..
if you can't even appreciate the "past" or memories... cuz its what shapes us in the future and present.. then i'll keep it for myself.. i deserve them.. cuz i played more than just my part. i gave my all.
what are you without your past? heh..
that was the least u could do.. be happy with the memories we had.. and not having needed things to help u remember the little things i meant to you. disgusting.. i was that forgettable.. must be my voice and looks ..and height..
i did nothing wrong michelle.. i did nothing wrong..
you did me wrong, and you make it sound as if the problem was "us".
at least all of our memories are safe here in my mind.. the little things.. my phone.. for the words you told me.. which i don't even know if they still mean the same when u read them again =/
all those words with hopes and trust and faith.. gone.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 4:04pm
U cross the line. And the thing is I hope ur happy u said all that coz, ur wrongfulness just cant get any worst than that, and I over trying to correct them all. I do what I believe is right I don’t need to break it to ya bout my every step, blame ur self for failing to keep up.…for the least, I don’t deny to reality I don’t place my self in a sphere and deny that I’m trapped
u cross the line. Ong jian yau. Lost my respect. Everything. Hypocrite, childish. Anything… I’ll say it… snap out of it.
u are my drama so SHUT the fck up! As if I had a choice but to accept u the way u are.. so finally she rips, hope u’re pleased with this out come. I m too dissapointed to dedicate anymore sincere words, and I can tell u this in the most civilised and mature manner that, I don’t value fiction book[ & this is symbolic to alll the conventional things even in a relationship]. Never thought bitter can go worst… this is our happy ending. Hope u can look back and still see this as something.. coz u did FUCK it up again. & the thing is, ur blind… to all the things I do and u’re helpless from it too…
ask ur self bub…
u ‘ve always been there… jst there. Yeah at that time I never knew how to question ppl’s ways… I do now.. coz its all bout change, rising, not staying in one place all ur life and not moving in anyway… if u ong jian yau cant handle a lil change, maybe u shud start to face reality… everyone around me see growth.. that michelle is better, shes “not stuck in her room no more”. “Shes back”… haha I rather be that… yeah I admit I prioritise my passion before everything everyone else. This is my only reason to be selfish.. so ere it is, something u can NEVER handle. And there u are being a so called mature aged 22 yr old crying kicking screaming trying to get ur toy back… I don’t play games, used wtv, I don’t cheat or wtv u said was [ fucking funny to me] stop blaming the world on this. So u are childish. Never admited to that before. I guess u need to see more in the real world, it was never love…it was a relation of two- on one same ship! Michelle timms has always been right, so have i… so have everyone else.. BUT u were the one failed to see. Coz ur in ur own world… still stuck from the dream, even niagara cant wake u yet , coz ur too deep… is the world wrongs or is it just u?
have u ever thought about it? Like in a relationship we shouldn’t be trying too hard coz things shud float in one piece… we tried…too hard, ever considered that a mistake in the first place? When would u realise that trying ur best in something on the expense of ur self to the extent of the unnecessary WAS the trial & error? U still don’t see it. Ur still blaming everything but it. Sigh, sympathy ryt ere. Atleast maybe u can think of all that shit u said about me and convinced ur self they’re all truuueeeee there by make u happier? [ that’s enough for me, this is dramatic, and the thing is ive been ME, from day 1 growth into now, so I guess u failed keeping up with me] just stop blaming everything and reflect what what really shook us okay, that’s all there is to consider… hope ur okay… im still me, you shud try and touch on reality soon. Chaoo bub.. x
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Jere July 7 at 4:16pm
why? why am i always the one to blame..
fine. its me. i'll see it all someday.
its me its me its me its me its me its me.
consider it then. yes im crying but i aint kicking and screaming.
im crying cuz im hurt. and fine
i wont blame the world. i always never did.
but you told me its time i stop blaming myself once..
i always blamed myself.
back track to all the reasons that made u dissapointed at me once. cuz i always said sorry. i always weaken myself before i put some strength. but you said it was wrong. now this is wrong cuz i see things wrongly again..
im sorry i crossed the line. at the end i just loved you too much. do you see it? do you do you?
you blame me. you call me childish cuz i finally spill out what i think inside.. i havent blurted out for so long..
you never gave me a chance..
yes.. i may be childish at times..
sorry i made you see things wrongly..
sorry for all i've said and done..
sorry for existing in this life ..
sorry i came into your life..
and why is trying too hard wrong??? why??
u wont tell me. you wont tell me whats wrong but just tell me off..
do you still care about me? =/
and i'm sorry for all i said about you cuz it was the only way to get you to tell me how u feel inside.
no im not happy. im not even proud of it for a fact cuz all i ever wanted was you.
but you wouldnt give. you took it away from me..
and i'm sorry i cant keep up. with your ways..
but have u ever kept up with my ways? =/
i am your drama.. i am the source of it..
but just tell me one thing..
have i loved you enough? have i done enough?
aside from this... did a person like me deserved a happy ending?
just tell me.. the truth..
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 4:16pm
heartless woman. Coz saying that makes u happy , say it a million times, so it’ll engrave it self into everypicture u see of me, DO IT. Coz im heartless, coz I chose to forget coz I couldn’t help but to wash them all away.. coz I chose to have a fucking psychosis from loosing my self and either start fresh [ which is now THE HEARTLESS woman] or STAY in the “perfect” past with u in it and stay broken.
please. As if I chose everything.. everything happened for a reason. Everything have always been false interpretations of me, im tired of correcting my intentions that had never meant no harm. U made everything dark, coz u already believe everything im doing challenges ur values thereby seeing the same as the “wrong”… “you did me wrong, and you make it sound as if the problem was "us"” I would feel angry from tht but I got none, its more dissapointed, a lil hopelessness and jst the biggest sigh of a slight grin at present… I dare u to say we have NO problem. U run from ur own, u deny its there, and u dare to tell me I DID YOU WRONG when all a wifey could do was kindly help u to realise. And when that fails, she’d go to the extreme , shake u ! coz WE are the problem. Ur stuck . as if we ever needed anything if we were strong ryt here ryt now. FCK the memories. Tell me they can give u a future! Tell me that can change things, tell me they can Make u stronger! Tell me they can retrieve whats gone! I don’t need memories to carry on, so unleash ur self from the past, find a reason to live/die for ryt here ryt now. U got nothin but papers…
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Jere July 7 at 4:26pm
yes i did you wrong. it was me.. i wont blame you for being dissapointed at me. i blew up. i messed up.
but i will keep you one promise...
i told you once someday when things turn sour.. i'll take the blame for you
not to say i dont deserve to be blamed anyway right?
i'm sorry michelle lee..
i guess.. i never deserved your true love from the very start.
im a monster. im terrible..
i guess all i do good was force ppl to see things the way i do.
i'm sorry.
and no i'm not happy with you being dissapointed at me..
i always wanted you to be proud of me.. but i guess i fucked up big time..
and i believe nothing i can do now will take away how you see me as anymore forever..
im just that big kid living in his own world.. unable to kick his doors open to see the way others do...
i'm sorry you have to deal with my problems. im sorry my problems and all the drama and heartache i caused you slowed you down in all ways and means...
i just wanted you to be true to me..
its alright. bie.. as much as u hate to hear this or want me to say this.. or whether i deserve it.. let me take the blame..
i'll go.. i'll walk off.. i never deserved you..
i was a walking false dream. a fictional reality of my own.
just so happen i came into your life and stole you ='/
im sorry.. i sincerely am.... ='/
i'll go......... k? i'll go....
i love you..............................................................
i really.. and honestly want you. to make it big someday... cuz i care.. please do well and please grow well.. even if you wont remember me someday i will. and i'll be proud of you.. im just another stepping stone that turned out to be a hard and slippery rock k?
goodbye... bie.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 5:40pm
Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 4:32pm
as Michelle Lee and not ur bie. U are stuck, trapped… trying to retrieve all the things that chu want. I guess fail to move on to better things in life. Maybe its coz u’ve never value the world as much as ur own… maybe that was wrong.. maybe that was an invite to having the world push u around… emotionally devoted… u jst need to see it for ur self… maybe I should be a lesson u’d learn… maybe this happened for a reason, and that it might change u forever too? I guess that would be worth a shot, have you stands up without the need of any single thing, any single person in ur life, can u do it? I KNOW I CAN. Can u know that u can? And really consider it…
u need to knows whats really right and wrong, this is the only part where ur wrong, the only time ur really wrong. I ‘d only blame me when everything around me make sense and I don’t… so that’s that..
the person that u ‘ve always values I guess family before others, loosing one strips ur identity doesn’t it? Would u stay in one spot and blame the world for ur lost or would u find all the way to not feel that way again? Thhe greater good takes place this time… [ I guess that’s what ive done? Evolve and get better.]
ive always cared for u… even when I never knew why.. . ur in my blood and im trying to clear my system… coz it was never michelle lee to be part of another body. This I failed my self. U loved me too much, blindly, wrongfully – time and space wise. Its wrong to try their hardest.. .. its like “study smart, don’t study hard” symbolic to this.. .. we should’ve known whats meant to be, what makes sense… all tht… but I guess u were a hypocrite for saying that couples are lovey dovey at the start of the relationship and forgot bout responsibilities.. Coz we’ve been lovey dovey all the times and failed to even depict the reality that this was all fictional. Love that makes sense places its own puzzle pictures and paints it self into a perfect picture…. Theres not try hard enough to get a result thing, this aint a game… this is nature.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 4:54pm
Ive been true. U jst wont accept me the way I am. U see me as an angel then and a monster now, its funny when ppl see me as a kid then and a lady now.don’t be silly.. ive always been thankful ive never blame anything… this is the first and last blame I’d have on u … and that I hope u realize that u do know better, u do need to touch on reality or things jst piles b4 and overwhelm u… stay firm. Don’t be foolish. Do everything right, reponse everyway right, tell ppl things everyway they deserve.. if u’ve been honest the whole time with ur own feelings and with other’s no one gets hurt coz there wouldn’t be any misunderstanding neither. Boo so, speak ur mind. Be honest about ur feeling… if u need to blame anything SAY IT, if u fear, ADMIT it, if u really know ur wrong FIX IT, its simple. Im only sorry when im really sorry… and im sorry I was never there.. im use to ppl taking care of themselves… thereby becoming a minimum expectation for others… take care of ur self. I mean it. Ive never gone anywhere jian yau.. u jst believe that I’m farther away coz u couldn’t accept what I am now.. or that this michelle is too much compared to the simple emelle. Im speaking my mind ere, nothing symbolic.. not hidden meanings… hope u ‘d do it too.. and seriously.. ive always been me, when I told u I don’t remember anything .. I really just cantttt…. When I said I tried enough that it’ve taken a toll yeah it have.. and this is me today fixing my issues bub… it’s the fall and rise process thts all… my instincts wont let me feel helpless for long.. that’s why I hope u’d see it someday too and jst put it all aways and accelerate. Ive never gone anywhere.. always been in this house, this computer, this source , the same way in reaching u. jst ask ur self if ur ready to accept reality.. I’ve always been here jian yau. Ive never gone no where.
as strong individuals that we are… u ready to move along as I am alone, far along this long run? Its time we gone our separate ways boo… don’t be scare, don’t feel lost.. coz I’ll always be ere, im serious.. when its once.. its always… give life a chance. And remember you belong to u. no one can touch tht.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 5:02pm
the only only thing ive never been able to confront is to love..ego, pride, wtv u name it stops me from feeling a thing.. and the thing is...i’ve always loved u. Jst be well. Stay well. Friends come and go, but not this pair . x
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Jere July 7 at 5:02pm
im
long gone
and lost
tired
given up
wanna box up everything
and move on
im crying
i cant help
it
i cant even say
i hate you
even when i feel so shallow
of
myself
cuz
you were
and are
the world
to me
everytime i try to
do things that
i see
or feel
right
i mess up
im stupid
im shallow
hypocrite as
you said
hate me please
and
hate me hard
i was
never
right
even when
im honest
and true
i
am a failure.
goodnight..
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
as Michelle Lee and not ur bie. U are stuck, trapped… trying to retrieve all the things that chu want. I guess fail to move on to better things in life. Maybe its coz u’ve never value the world as much as ur own… maybe that was wrong.. maybe that was an invite to having the world push u around… emotionally devoted… u jst need to see it for ur self… maybe I should be a lesson u’d learn… maybe this happened for a reason, and that it might change u forever too? I guess that would be worth a shot, have you stands up without the need of any single thing, any single person in ur life, can u do it? I KNOW I CAN. Can u know that u can? And really consider it…
u need to knows whats really right and wrong, this is the only part where ur wrong, the only time ur really wrong. I ‘d only blame me when everything around me make sense and I don’t… so that’s that..
the person that u ‘ve always values I guess family before others, loosing one strips ur identity doesn’t it? Would u stay in one spot and blame the world for ur lost or would u find all the way to not feel that way again? Thhe greater good takes place this time… [ I guess that’s what ive done? Evolve and get better.]
ive always cared for u… even when I never knew why.. . ur in my blood and im trying to clear my system… coz it was never michelle lee to be part of another body. This I failed my self. U loved me too much, blindly, wrongfully – time and space wise. Its wrong to try their hardest.. .. its like “study smart, don’t study hard” symbolic to this.. .. we should’ve known whats meant to be, what makes sense… all tht… but I guess u were a hypocrite for saying that couples are lovey dovey at the start of the relationship and forgot bout responsibilities.. Coz we’ve been lovey dovey all the times and failed to even depict the reality that this was all fictional. Love that makes sense places its own puzzle pictures and paints it self into a perfect picture…. Theres not try hard enough to get a result thing, this aint a game… this is nature.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 4:54pm
Ive been true. U jst wont accept me the way I am. U see me as an angel then and a monster now, its funny when ppl see me as a kid then and a lady now.don’t be silly.. ive always been thankful ive never blame anything… this is the first and last blame I’d have on u … and that I hope u realize that u do know better, u do need to touch on reality or things jst piles b4 and overwhelm u… stay firm. Don’t be foolish. Do everything right, reponse everyway right, tell ppl things everyway they deserve.. if u’ve been honest the whole time with ur own feelings and with other’s no one gets hurt coz there wouldn’t be any misunderstanding neither. Boo so, speak ur mind. Be honest about ur feeling… if u need to blame anything SAY IT, if u fear, ADMIT it, if u really know ur wrong FIX IT, its simple. Im only sorry when im really sorry… and im sorry I was never there.. im use to ppl taking care of themselves… thereby becoming a minimum expectation for others… take care of ur self. I mean it. Ive never gone anywhere jian yau.. u jst believe that I’m farther away coz u couldn’t accept what I am now.. or that this michelle is too much compared to the simple emelle. Im speaking my mind ere, nothing symbolic.. not hidden meanings… hope u ‘d do it too.. and seriously.. ive always been me, when I told u I don’t remember anything .. I really just cantttt…. When I said I tried enough that it’ve taken a toll yeah it have.. and this is me today fixing my issues bub… it’s the fall and rise process thts all… my instincts wont let me feel helpless for long.. that’s why I hope u’d see it someday too and jst put it all aways and accelerate. Ive never gone anywhere.. always been in this house, this computer, this source , the same way in reaching u. jst ask ur self if ur ready to accept reality.. I’ve always been here jian yau. Ive never gone no where.
as strong individuals that we are… u ready to move along as I am alone, far along this long run? Its time we gone our separate ways boo… don’t be scare, don’t feel lost.. coz I’ll always be ere, im serious.. when its once.. its always… give life a chance. And remember you belong to u. no one can touch tht.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 5:02pm
the only only thing ive never been able to confront is to love..ego, pride, wtv u name it stops me from feeling a thing.. and the thing is...i’ve always loved u. Jst be well. Stay well. Friends come and go, but not this pair . x
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Jere July 7 at 5:02pm
im
long gone
and lost
tired
given up
wanna box up everything
and move on
im crying
i cant help
it
i cant even say
i hate you
even when i feel so shallow
of
myself
cuz
you were
and are
the world
to me
everytime i try to
do things that
i see
or feel
right
i mess up
im stupid
im shallow
hypocrite as
you said
hate me please
and
hate me hard
i was
never
right
even when
im honest
and true
i
am a failure.
goodnight..
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 5:42pm
[ i'd hope for a syl's point of view at the end of it all if it aint too much to ask for, coz what he thinks would matter. sorry for a sight of this pile of shit ] x
Sylvester Naing July 7 at 8:00pm
jere...
he speaks his words truely an worthy...
he reminds me of me abit, remeber boo remember annie the thai girl?
i was in the same position he was in...i tryed i failed i couldnt move on i didnt want too...i questioned why...i questioned did she even love me at all in the first place or was it just a phase?
she never told me untill the day she had to move back to singapore cause of her dad had to work there so she had to leave...but that was before i went to burma for 3 months...she just didnt wanna say she be gone for good...so i persumed she didnt love me...so my heart slowly broke in too pieces the photos we took the times we shared in that simple 3 months changed so much in that other 3 months i was gone in burma...i soon realised she was better off an i was better off aswell...from then onwards i looked forward to life for the rewards in the end but not all the time...
that break up changed my mind on valueing a true relationship cause a true relationship takes more time it doesnt have to be offcial to be real or have a name to it...cause what we have is real an i dont have to call u my girlfriend cause i know already u are deep down in my heart cause im waiting till the day chit is free :)
my heart will always follow michelle where ever she goes...oh wait look behind u....
><
picka boo i see you =)
x
he speaks his words truely an worthy...
he reminds me of me abit, remeber boo remember annie the thai girl?
i was in the same position he was in...i tryed i failed i couldnt move on i didnt want too...i questioned why...i questioned did she even love me at all in the first place or was it just a phase?
she never told me untill the day she had to move back to singapore cause of her dad had to work there so she had to leave...but that was before i went to burma for 3 months...she just didnt wanna say she be gone for good...so i persumed she didnt love me...so my heart slowly broke in too pieces the photos we took the times we shared in that simple 3 months changed so much in that other 3 months i was gone in burma...i soon realised she was better off an i was better off aswell...from then onwards i looked forward to life for the rewards in the end but not all the time...
that break up changed my mind on valueing a true relationship cause a true relationship takes more time it doesnt have to be offcial to be real or have a name to it...cause what we have is real an i dont have to call u my girlfriend cause i know already u are deep down in my heart cause im waiting till the day chit is free :)
my heart will always follow michelle where ever she goes...oh wait look behind u....
><
picka boo i see you =)
x
Sylvester Naing July 7 at 8:03pm
i can say one thing about jere..
his a lost boy still searching but struggling cause he cant let go of his past an his past wants to move on but his stuck in that same spot an wants to relive it once more but the only error side to it is his past wont feel the same as jere...........x
(past = her)
his a lost boy still searching but struggling cause he cant let go of his past an his past wants to move on but his stuck in that same spot an wants to relive it once more but the only error side to it is his past wont feel the same as jere...........x
(past = her)
Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 8:20pm
our language can never meet ... im constantly evolving , perhaps improving, changing ...seeking errors finding answers... whilst he just stay still... its not fair for the both of us. thats all~... i've always loved everyone who've been in my life.. and still do, and always will. ive never changed as a person. But my values do... maybe i dont value love as much as i did but am i wrong to find more reasons to live for.....? the passion that ive discovered now overides all the tender love and care i have for others, does that make me selfish? im still learning... but he just think this learning processing is taking his wifey away... is it wrong to say that we cant retreive what is done? im sory love isnt primary to her no more. she fears it, coz she lost the touch of her past.x
Sylvester Naing July 7 at 8:28pm
:')
dont u ever stop evolving, improving, changing, seeking erros finding the answers...cause i wont too...see u do have a heart u will always love everyone who has loved you doesnt matter if its bf or freidn or fam or someone...
noo its never wrong to question about love i too question what is love still but yet i have the feeling down my spine my heart my head my mind an this love is wierd but in a good way...it feels like no other it feels alsmot so real to be true...i strive to help u oneday to not fair it an regain ur touch for chit.x
dont u ever stop evolving, improving, changing, seeking erros finding the answers...cause i wont too...see u do have a heart u will always love everyone who has loved you doesnt matter if its bf or freidn or fam or someone...
noo its never wrong to question about love i too question what is love still but yet i have the feeling down my spine my heart my head my mind an this love is wierd but in a good way...it feels like no other it feels alsmot so real to be true...i strive to help u oneday to not fair it an regain ur touch for chit.x
Sylvester Naing July 7 at 8:29pm
fear*
Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 8:38pm
as individuals i just hope for the best for him, ive never failed this hard in trying my best to reach for someone / to let them see... i tried. and im sorry. love is only an expression, as expressive beings, we dont need to admit its there,cause even a simple care stores it... so i still deny its there... cause i dont wanna feel that i need it... though it has always been at present. this is the ego thing. pretty sho. and yeh, thanks bayyb, thank you. =s those words made sense to me. Cause it is "like no other, & it feels almost too real to be true...& so i'd strive too & help u oneday to not fear it, an regain ur touch for it "x
simple words of wisdom was all i ever needed.
simple words of wisdom was all i ever needed.
Sylvester Naing July 7 at 8:50pm
boo dont look under blanky its dark an scareweee ><
stay above it cause im there with ♥ :)
simple trust for words was all i ever wanted.x
stay above it cause im there with ♥ :)
simple trust for words was all i ever wanted.x
Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 9:08pm
i like the dark its kay. many fear it so no one would be there, so its safe =) hands held where ever we are.
simplicity was all i ever asked for. honesty is all i could give + x
simplicity was all i ever asked for. honesty is all i could give + x
Sylvester Naing July 7 at 9:19pm
:) just how i pictured it heh...
ur chit was all i asked for an will return x + o
ur chit was all i asked for an will return x + o
Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 9:33pm
:) lets hide, our bodies, seek these hrts.
playful as kids, and nvr apart, share ur
warmth, share ur breathe, cause i'll share
this mazin collision, &mend this test,
with lve boo, thats tattooed across ma chest x
playful as kids, and nvr apart, share ur
warmth, share ur breathe, cause i'll share
this mazin collision, &mend this test,
with lve boo, thats tattooed across ma chest x
Sylvester Naing July 7 at 9:45pm
u mend my heart u mend my soul lets swap so u may feel what i feel boo just for 5 secs :) ?
its in jap ink not german ink so may never wear off =)
x
its in jap ink not german ink so may never wear off =)
x
Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 9:59pm
i do whut u do,
feel what chu feel.
give me one nyt
kisses ur hrt...
my mind is on u tonight.
feel what chu feel.
give me one nyt
kisses ur hrt...
my mind is on u tonight.
Sylvester Naing July 7 at 10:01pm
heh :)
so she is my best friend..my chit..my boo..my everything tonight =)
so she is my best friend..my chit..my boo..my everything tonight =)
Michelle Le Meredith July 7 at 10:04pm
=) mirrors ur words
mirrors ur heart..... x
I feel it too =) gdnyt boo
mirrors ur heart..... x
I feel it too =) gdnyt boo
Sylvester Naing July 7 at 10:07pm
:) sweetsimpledreams tumo is another day my chit =)
x
x
Sylvester Naing July 13 at 9:22pm
Likes: shes beautiful to me from head to toe, she chits him >< she puts her loved ones before her an she wants the best for me heh like i want the very best for her :)
Dislike: how she can be stubborn sometimes an feel like she cant do it but i know she can cause i believe she can so shhhh bub im ere stop worrying i got chu an il keep chu so shut up an let me be ere to take good care of chu that is my will i promised an keep =)
First Impression: aiyah she too good for me just look at her all sparkly an pretty she no match for me shes smart an a gift to good to unwrap >< but look at us now bii we did it :)
Confession: his in chit with her to bits but doesn't wanna show too much unless she wants him too >< but he really cares about her the most he would do anything for her even if it was the end of the world he risk it all for her cause he know she do the same...shes too valuable to be touched...x
sweet dreams my boo rest soon i have work tumo with uncle at the shop so early start nyt beautiful im a man that keeps his life simple with many surprises along the way for her =) x
Dislike: how she can be stubborn sometimes an feel like she cant do it but i know she can cause i believe she can so shhhh bub im ere stop worrying i got chu an il keep chu so shut up an let me be ere to take good care of chu that is my will i promised an keep =)
First Impression: aiyah she too good for me just look at her all sparkly an pretty she no match for me shes smart an a gift to good to unwrap >< but look at us now bii we did it :)
Confession: his in chit with her to bits but doesn't wanna show too much unless she wants him too >< but he really cares about her the most he would do anything for her even if it was the end of the world he risk it all for her cause he know she do the same...shes too valuable to be touched...x
sweet dreams my boo rest soon i have work tumo with uncle at the shop so early start nyt beautiful im a man that keeps his life simple with many surprises along the way for her =) x
Michelle Le Meredith July 14 at 10:59pm
comment response:
*Michelle talking, not Mish just to let him know =) [ analysing mode,hehe] , the word “beautiful”; don’t everyone achieve that in their own ways? Care to elaborate urs about her? Hmm… the difference between me wanting the best for others compared to others wanting the best for others is… She sacrifices her self to it, in ways achieved through action and mentality. It’s a scary thought and never a good thing, so syl I won’t encourage him to adapt to her ways, but maybe, just maybe bare with it :) &I’ve always been thankful of him being around. “The sun wont shine if there’s no where to shine on” :) It’s a beautiful thing.
*I’ve only doubted on The four letters. Because theres always a catch if someone gets everything they wish for. We are in the cruel/fair world. And we do need to abide by the rules, that “life is fair, in ways not perfect enough to satisfy everybody’s wishes” so I’m only being logical I guess. I’ve never used the words faith, fate, hope, wish, luck, love, passion, will power… All that till I found my goal/ambition.. slowly I got carried away with it, and started sharing, so ere we are. Syl, im not afraid of most things… But im only afraid to get back to normal self, which is being- numb, logical, factual and without all those words of wisdom[the faith, fate, hope, wish, luck, love, passion, will power]. When someday it jst decides to stop believing, Mish would disappear. That’s all im saying… & I will be sorry, cause I wasn’t certain. But as Both, mish/michelle of different collaborative modes, I m trying to be the world carried in one. Im lifting things, Im hungry in reaching all I can. That one day I will crash; whether it’s a decade or more. We cant lie cause the fact is there okay?. I’m not stubborn, just realistic. & forgive her ways for she;ve always been real to the world.
First Impression: aiyah she too good for me just look at her all sparkly an pretty she no match for me shes smart an a gift to good to unwrap >< but look at us now bii we did it :)
* If you had that first impression of her, I haven’t changed since. But the thing that you don’t know about is… you’re as good, as sparkly, perhaps pretty, intelligent, a gift enough to keep us with her see? We stand the same, as high up enough to meet. If you compliment her, the result only mirrors it back to him… It’s equivalent to fate I believe:)
* He said “unless she wants him to”, syl, we’re individuals… u need to understand that even as a whole, even as much as we’d share the world, we still have our selves to take care of, be selfish, want the best for our selves, say and do anything we outta wish to ryt? You can still be that syl. Don’t treat any girl like someone u ‘sacrifice lil things for just because you love / care for her. Be that syl who acts of syl. If you want something, you’d get it, if you have an urge to confront things, say it… no one can stop him mmkay=)? That’s every person’s right to stand in their every ground. The reward in achieving that is pride, respect, loyalty that’s all =) Im very blessed that hes at present, truly syl. Coming from Michelle or ur boo, syl. Thank you =) x I do lve his guts too. Heh.
*Michelle talking, not Mish just to let him know =) [ analysing mode,hehe] , the word “beautiful”; don’t everyone achieve that in their own ways? Care to elaborate urs about her? Hmm… the difference between me wanting the best for others compared to others wanting the best for others is… She sacrifices her self to it, in ways achieved through action and mentality. It’s a scary thought and never a good thing, so syl I won’t encourage him to adapt to her ways, but maybe, just maybe bare with it :) &I’ve always been thankful of him being around. “The sun wont shine if there’s no where to shine on” :) It’s a beautiful thing.
*I’ve only doubted on The four letters. Because theres always a catch if someone gets everything they wish for. We are in the cruel/fair world. And we do need to abide by the rules, that “life is fair, in ways not perfect enough to satisfy everybody’s wishes” so I’m only being logical I guess. I’ve never used the words faith, fate, hope, wish, luck, love, passion, will power… All that till I found my goal/ambition.. slowly I got carried away with it, and started sharing, so ere we are. Syl, im not afraid of most things… But im only afraid to get back to normal self, which is being- numb, logical, factual and without all those words of wisdom[the faith, fate, hope, wish, luck, love, passion, will power]. When someday it jst decides to stop believing, Mish would disappear. That’s all im saying… & I will be sorry, cause I wasn’t certain. But as Both, mish/michelle of different collaborative modes, I m trying to be the world carried in one. Im lifting things, Im hungry in reaching all I can. That one day I will crash; whether it’s a decade or more. We cant lie cause the fact is there okay?. I’m not stubborn, just realistic. & forgive her ways for she;ve always been real to the world.
First Impression: aiyah she too good for me just look at her all sparkly an pretty she no match for me shes smart an a gift to good to unwrap >< but look at us now bii we did it :)
* If you had that first impression of her, I haven’t changed since. But the thing that you don’t know about is… you’re as good, as sparkly, perhaps pretty, intelligent, a gift enough to keep us with her see? We stand the same, as high up enough to meet. If you compliment her, the result only mirrors it back to him… It’s equivalent to fate I believe:)
* He said “unless she wants him to”, syl, we’re individuals… u need to understand that even as a whole, even as much as we’d share the world, we still have our selves to take care of, be selfish, want the best for our selves, say and do anything we outta wish to ryt? You can still be that syl. Don’t treat any girl like someone u ‘sacrifice lil things for just because you love / care for her. Be that syl who acts of syl. If you want something, you’d get it, if you have an urge to confront things, say it… no one can stop him mmkay=)? That’s every person’s right to stand in their every ground. The reward in achieving that is pride, respect, loyalty that’s all =) Im very blessed that hes at present, truly syl. Coming from Michelle or ur boo, syl. Thank you =) x I do lve his guts too. Heh.
Sylvester Naing July 15 at 12:23am
boo...
just dont put all ur trust in the reality too much before ur heart bii... sure it leads you to becoming certain about more things in life an appreciate them but at the same time you might loose it all from believing in it all the time or too much...just dont get carried away thats all boo for one day u might never get back an believe what is true an what is not im not saying it will just saying dont forget who u really are to me an people the loving caring lovable friend, lover or person...
theirs nothing wrong with been factual or true just dont play it too much where its too late...an maybe just maybe one day in ur life im saying when ur a women in her 30s you would look back an realize she could of taken many chances with whom ever but chose to keep searching...boo i just dont want you to be un-happy later on an be lonely cause u weren't satisfied before... just appreciate what people or i do for you if u feel what i say emkay boo =) an just fuck the world for one day an say screw you world im taking chances as enough as said save the shit for later when i need you bad world...
dont be afraid to get bak one day to ur normal self cause thats what you really are cause were only human boo not robots...cause i could be the one i could be the other but know this i love you an for the person u are today...x
means alot* i thank you bii im growing more an more confidence in my self to stand up an speak for my self cause of u i dont think i ever get this much from another person ever :)
your beautiful from the moment i saw you that very first day...heart was racing is she really standing behind me...what should i say >< oh il just be funny cause that makes her smile:)
i wanna hold her hand but i dont know what she would think hmm il just wait...sitting in the movies just in her presence i felt weak an tingly sitting next to a girl that really understands me...i wanna hold her but i feel nervous...i didnt think DO THE THINGS I DID THAT DAY LIKE touch her hands an hold it but it just happend... i didnt think i kiss her but it just happend...an from then onwards we grew boo we grew into this ♥ an to me thats BEAUTIFUL :) x
just dont put all ur trust in the reality too much before ur heart bii... sure it leads you to becoming certain about more things in life an appreciate them but at the same time you might loose it all from believing in it all the time or too much...just dont get carried away thats all boo for one day u might never get back an believe what is true an what is not im not saying it will just saying dont forget who u really are to me an people the loving caring lovable friend, lover or person...
theirs nothing wrong with been factual or true just dont play it too much where its too late...an maybe just maybe one day in ur life im saying when ur a women in her 30s you would look back an realize she could of taken many chances with whom ever but chose to keep searching...boo i just dont want you to be un-happy later on an be lonely cause u weren't satisfied before... just appreciate what people or i do for you if u feel what i say emkay boo =) an just fuck the world for one day an say screw you world im taking chances as enough as said save the shit for later when i need you bad world...
dont be afraid to get bak one day to ur normal self cause thats what you really are cause were only human boo not robots...cause i could be the one i could be the other but know this i love you an for the person u are today...x
means alot* i thank you bii im growing more an more confidence in my self to stand up an speak for my self cause of u i dont think i ever get this much from another person ever :)
your beautiful from the moment i saw you that very first day...heart was racing is she really standing behind me...what should i say >< oh il just be funny cause that makes her smile:)
i wanna hold her hand but i dont know what she would think hmm il just wait...sitting in the movies just in her presence i felt weak an tingly sitting next to a girl that really understands me...i wanna hold her but i feel nervous...i didnt think DO THE THINGS I DID THAT DAY LIKE touch her hands an hold it but it just happend... i didnt think i kiss her but it just happend...an from then onwards we grew boo we grew into this ♥ an to me thats BEAUTIFUL :) x
Sylvester Naing July 15 at 12:24am
not goin anywhere :')
x
x
Michelle Le Meredith July 15 at 1:02am
when ur ready one day...
i'll let u know the real critiques out there.
The doubts and insufficiency will always be there.
i'll jst wait till ur able to take it without this shaking. bare
with me, she cares enough to no go anywhere till her duty is done. x
i'll let u know the real critiques out there.
The doubts and insufficiency will always be there.
i'll jst wait till ur able to take it without this shaking. bare
with me, she cares enough to no go anywhere till her duty is done. x
Michelle Le Meredith July 15 at 1:05am
"the world is cold when bold men take action.
had to react to get blown into fractions"- mike shinoda.
had to react to get blown into fractions"- mike shinoda.
Michelle Le Meredith July 15 at 1:06am
i just hope someday u'd realise that the heart needs to be protected and not expressed, coz every person can and will shake its state of well being.
Michelle Le Meredith July 15 at 1:09am
im numb coz my feelings were risked.
this shield has to remain at place.
and devoted beings like your very self syl...
kills me for having u placed before this erratic person that she is.
this shield has to remain at place.
and devoted beings like your very self syl...
kills me for having u placed before this erratic person that she is.
Michelle Le Meredith July 15 at 1:13am
who u are is loyal and compassionate,
who embraces every detail, who yeh,
down to earth. Boo, hrt felt emotions
of hers only makes her weaker. Bii, jst
believe that its always there mmkay?It
has always been her duty to stay numb
take the blame and steal their pain. &
the thing is, i chose to, not cause i had
to. That the difference on us both, you
live to stay blissful, i live to serve a change. x
who embraces every detail, who yeh,
down to earth. Boo, hrt felt emotions
of hers only makes her weaker. Bii, jst
believe that its always there mmkay?It
has always been her duty to stay numb
take the blame and steal their pain. &
the thing is, i chose to, not cause i had
to. That the difference on us both, you
live to stay blissful, i live to serve a change. x
Michelle Le Meredith July 15 at 1:20am
and your doing me proud bii,
u're making her role possible :) x
u're making her role possible :) x
Sylvester Naing July 15 at 1:44am
just make sure u know what you want cause life isn't a game...cause when you live to serve a change you dont want that ur whole life...cause boo im 19 now an i took my chances i reacted i improved but yet at the same time i failed in my past...
but answer me this... is this what you want ur whole life to serve a change an not appreciate whats givin for once an take it cause i see you have with me but if not after this will u do the same an keep tryn or stop an just appreciate ?
so you will move on once you are satisfied with what you have done with me or if that person grew feelings that can never be erased in that time you will stay for abit to make them feel better cause u feel bad or leave for the best?
bii i will always be loyal an compassionate thats how i was brought up an thats what keeps me satisfied i embrace life how i see it im not that down to earth i may be stubborn at times but i just dont need to show it as much...x
the things you talk to me about on life, the reality an the real critiques out there.The doubts and insufficiency bii i see a girl who wont take no for an answer it scares me in a way but i like it...
we been hurt our shields been down once or twice or three or more times but we get back up an keep trying...no one ever said life was gonna be easy it all stops when ur 18 bii to be honest 18-25 is the age where you needa know where your at in life an now im figuring out what i wanna do an who i wanna be with but sighs its just so hard these days with the world changing all the time...
if you didnt know ive been shaked enough im standing on the edge of the cliff i dont wanna jump i wanna take a step back bii cause i dont wanna search no more im sick of it it keeps leading me back to the start i just wanna finish already why is it hard bii why :'(
i dont need no quotations to tell me how to live life i live it how i see an feel it sure il get hurt but you learn from ur mistakes doesn't take a genius to know that bii...x
but answer me this... is this what you want ur whole life to serve a change an not appreciate whats givin for once an take it cause i see you have with me but if not after this will u do the same an keep tryn or stop an just appreciate ?
so you will move on once you are satisfied with what you have done with me or if that person grew feelings that can never be erased in that time you will stay for abit to make them feel better cause u feel bad or leave for the best?
bii i will always be loyal an compassionate thats how i was brought up an thats what keeps me satisfied i embrace life how i see it im not that down to earth i may be stubborn at times but i just dont need to show it as much...x
the things you talk to me about on life, the reality an the real critiques out there.The doubts and insufficiency bii i see a girl who wont take no for an answer it scares me in a way but i like it...
we been hurt our shields been down once or twice or three or more times but we get back up an keep trying...no one ever said life was gonna be easy it all stops when ur 18 bii to be honest 18-25 is the age where you needa know where your at in life an now im figuring out what i wanna do an who i wanna be with but sighs its just so hard these days with the world changing all the time...
if you didnt know ive been shaked enough im standing on the edge of the cliff i dont wanna jump i wanna take a step back bii cause i dont wanna search no more im sick of it it keeps leading me back to the start i just wanna finish already why is it hard bii why :'(
i dont need no quotations to tell me how to live life i live it how i see an feel it sure il get hurt but you learn from ur mistakes doesn't take a genius to know that bii...x
Michelle Le Meredith July 15 at 2:06am
Its no game, just an ambition one that she hopes would be clearer in time. Now she can only be ready, condition her self. Inside out, out side in... Sry if it hurts to watch, she’s gore proof too.
so I guess I’ll wait and bare this way?& of coz she’d have to take the down turns. The cycle goes: Fall, weep, realise, and retreat. Etc its tiring when it keeps on coming. Risking my own happiness for the greater being of others… This is a personal extension, self proven free will. Perhaps I could reach to both someday, and am waiting on that.
I’ve always had that feeling in me. Attempt other’s personal best, leave them as stronger beings, reach out , Attempt other’s personal best, leave them as stronger beings .. cycle goes on. That’s Meredith. While Mish, the other half at present craves the untouchable hopes and faith, love and grace. She’ll learn.
*this was sent to him: like a wake up call, or perhaps a crave for a fall back …
[The thing about milk. He’s jst like Michelle, has a protected force, perhaps shield... uses it to reach personal best, [shit accumulates, crash. realise. attempt. crash. realise attempt. etc] that "will power" in being able to doooo anything everything. yeah its still there. Sounds pretty damn promising, but heck shatters the real believer, the Mish?. The risk for others to be near to us, is we can "give our all" and "lose it all" in ANY point of time, coz the tempts, the hunger and inspirations switches on and off.We are our own risk. IF we dont learn to take some wants away... & im willing to take some meredith away in this michelle. Even if its to teach another different kind of person not like my self to reach wonders, i know they'd be loyal to me. We arent loyal beings milk, coz we have an ambition or goal to reach, and you know I’m right, so scream at me ! ]
so I guess I’ll wait and bare this way?& of coz she’d have to take the down turns. The cycle goes: Fall, weep, realise, and retreat. Etc its tiring when it keeps on coming. Risking my own happiness for the greater being of others… This is a personal extension, self proven free will. Perhaps I could reach to both someday, and am waiting on that.
I’ve always had that feeling in me. Attempt other’s personal best, leave them as stronger beings, reach out , Attempt other’s personal best, leave them as stronger beings .. cycle goes on. That’s Meredith. While Mish, the other half at present craves the untouchable hopes and faith, love and grace. She’ll learn.
*this was sent to him: like a wake up call, or perhaps a crave for a fall back …
[The thing about milk. He’s jst like Michelle, has a protected force, perhaps shield... uses it to reach personal best, [shit accumulates, crash. realise. attempt. crash. realise attempt. etc] that "will power" in being able to doooo anything everything. yeah its still there. Sounds pretty damn promising, but heck shatters the real believer, the Mish?. The risk for others to be near to us, is we can "give our all" and "lose it all" in ANY point of time, coz the tempts, the hunger and inspirations switches on and off.We are our own risk. IF we dont learn to take some wants away... & im willing to take some meredith away in this michelle. Even if its to teach another different kind of person not like my self to reach wonders, i know they'd be loyal to me. We arent loyal beings milk, coz we have an ambition or goal to reach, and you know I’m right, so scream at me ! ]
Michelle Le Meredith July 15 at 2:13am
I wont take no for an answer when im certain. When im certain, everyone else don’t exists but her, one right and one right only, and never be sorry. That’s why she needs a lil Mish to soften the metal heart… But their both strong and trying to keep a balance, difficult that is bii. Im not afraid to fall, im just afraid to loose it all. That is loose my own control, which is the main source to every reach bii, I just cant afford to slip after more falls. But the thing is I’d still catch ur fall, right before I slip bii, maybe my own shit will always be there, but for other’s.. no , seriously bii… and I don’t care what chu say… I ma steal ur pain. We weren’t difficult bii, Only I was. As I said in the beginning, perhaps warned. And im sorry this is taking a toll but, perhaps this strain for her will never go away. But I outta, needa, gotta be his protector despite failing to protect her self. She can take it. Bii, this aint love, its more. Its moree…
Sylvester Naing July 15 at 2:26am
you bring milk up as use known each other for ages...he sounds reasonable a shiii maybe hmmm the perfect guy for you, but his their an ur ere an maybe fate kept it that way ><
bii haven't you heard my cry my wake up call this whole month or where you blinded by ur ambitions?
but i cant see me been like that my whole life i have my ambitions too..if you don't live life fully ull never know what it could bring you so Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow cause Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have....x
bii haven't you heard my cry my wake up call this whole month or where you blinded by ur ambitions?
but i cant see me been like that my whole life i have my ambitions too..if you don't live life fully ull never know what it could bring you so Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow cause Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have....x
Sylvester Naing July 15 at 2:30am
im only baring this way cause i do i really do L... Y.. but if u still see happiness from our point of view then il just keep doing what i do best making you smile an forget about it all maybe for a sec a min a hr a day but shit it was worth it just to have the feeling of making my girl my friend my lover happy....
Michelle Le Meredith July 15 at 2:34am
sigh, no... we're both victims of our own crime. perhaps we both dont deserve non of it all. That 'happiness" that you mentioned.
I'm letting u into my world bii, all the flaws are ryt ere. bare and confronted. if it wasnt for my own realisation toward a tunnel view of my goals i wouldnt even been michelle lee. i wouldve been that asian girl or some what of minimum reach.
im talkin now in ways of me now, at this point in time bii, no past bein brought up... only present.. but perhaps yeh, like u said, hoping for the future in this.. and reaching certainty. this girl craves to see clearly, that is before asking for anything in life like - happiness. x
I'm letting u into my world bii, all the flaws are ryt ere. bare and confronted. if it wasnt for my own realisation toward a tunnel view of my goals i wouldnt even been michelle lee. i wouldve been that asian girl or some what of minimum reach.
im talkin now in ways of me now, at this point in time bii, no past bein brought up... only present.. but perhaps yeh, like u said, hoping for the future in this.. and reaching certainty. this girl craves to see clearly, that is before asking for anything in life like - happiness. x
Michelle Le Meredith July 15 at 2:38am
apart from our own magic city baby its reality...
and facing it with another body would be the toughest
thing to master. i aim the lows before the highs so we can
flip our wings and fly higher, faster, broader. this is the
lows(sacrifice she'd bare now) for the long run bii. x
hope chu see its all for us. ive always felt the need to say sorry
coz ive always failed to let him see these notable/wise intentions.x
and facing it with another body would be the toughest
thing to master. i aim the lows before the highs so we can
flip our wings and fly higher, faster, broader. this is the
lows(sacrifice she'd bare now) for the long run bii. x
hope chu see its all for us. ive always felt the need to say sorry
coz ive always failed to let him see these notable/wise intentions.x
Sylvester Naing July 15 at 2:48am
an i thank you bii i thank you..
let him be ere for you let him feel what you feel let him know what she see through her eyes an maybe just maybe he will feel where shes coming from...cause i wanna be there for you even though u will try to push me away soon...il still be ere ill still be fighting u deserve it all more then i do quite frankly i never tried i never wanted to achive what my parents wanted me to i just saw it as a waste of time but i wish i did now:( u still got a life bee dont ruin it use it wisely all ur hard efforts will soon be rewarded...x
let him be ere for you let him feel what you feel let him know what she see through her eyes an maybe just maybe he will feel where shes coming from...cause i wanna be there for you even though u will try to push me away soon...il still be ere ill still be fighting u deserve it all more then i do quite frankly i never tried i never wanted to achive what my parents wanted me to i just saw it as a waste of time but i wish i did now:( u still got a life bee dont ruin it use it wisely all ur hard efforts will soon be rewarded...x
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