7th take, symtoms arise.

Saturday, 7th August.

toss & turn, woke up with
calls being dismissed, and the
next one... patients
applied as one awaits. Time goes by,
her head victim of gravity. Crashed!
It was past midnyt when he called.
Yea, he was places about; in his world,
he was far- mind & body.
perhaps our condition opposed to each others.
perhaps i failed to keep up. Perhaps i was only
thankful that he wasn't beside me, coz that might've
kill him as much as it killed me. I never needed others
to watch me this way, cause it was like a sense of them adding
reasons to challenge their welfare. i never liked being the
reason to the worries in their heart, cause i was spose to
take theirs away. our progress was smooth, perhaps it was till when it felt like i dug us a lil hole and filled it will cement, a gap i wasn't suppose to fill- caused of my own poor welfare.
"sorry" is played in her head all over... A bottle was placed before
her, the invader left. Drinks are skulled in less than minutes, eye brows
crinkled, swallowed every bit of the sick memory i had. Me not thinking
cost me a whole night. after a lil while...

" My heart start pounding so hard, too hard someone inches away from me can feel it,
i was tired tho, but that surrounding beat kept me away from sleep, i curled my body, itching as the pores on my skin grow, this is my 7# take experimenting intake of alchohol and its effect on my body.i still fail to admit my allergy."

i couldnt possition well, coz my body mirrored the strain i felt on my forehead, the mix in the stomach traveled up my throat,the next second i found my self in the bathroom, as sick as a polluted ocean, killing my system. the cycle goes on, as i tried laying in bed,the next second- teleport to the sink, bed room, sink, bedroom , sink. there was a couple of takes in that... & soon it was morning"

the sorrows that played in my head,
the reminisces of recklessness in the past
the simple pain i forgotten about over-dosages.
symbolic to the things i wish i could change. i'll always be ere
then and there, sick. at the same time, as my own experiment to learn my own lesson.
these will condition her state. these are it. These might kill her on the way but these wont worsen but alter. x